Flawed Perception

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Nicky, wait for me!" The little boy was running ahead as an eleven year old me followed far behind, my hair full of ringlets being bounced around in the breeze.  

"Willi, why are you so slow?" He asked with a frustrated tone before breaking into a smile. He stopped and waited. As I got closer he held out a hand and patiently waited for me to take it. "Don't worry. I won't leave you behind, I promise."

 ***

It was a memory I had half forgotten until the now taller and older Nick Hadley appeared in front of me in my vulnerable state. He'd changed so much over the years I didn't like to remember him that way. In my mind it didn't matter, he was gone. In that one moment, I was so consumed by what had happened that I allowed myself to be taken back.  

I didn't know if a part of me didn't want to be alone or if I was too upset to care, but I didn't move. He had just reached out his hand offering a tissue and was looking me in the eye. I only stared back, my cheeks still wet with tears of heartache and panic I wish I could erase.  

Looking at him I could tell that he was high and probably buzzed as well. This was the part of Nick I had lost respect for. It was the part that was a constant reminder of how far he had fallen. The part that reminded me that he and my brother were not the boys I remembered and loved. 

"Here," he said in the same gentle tone as before. He motioned the tissue my way once more. I took it, being careful to avoid grazing his fingers with my own.  

"Thanks," I told him. There was no emotion in my voice. No spite, sadness, or the usual bit of sarcasm and frustration I typically used to insinuate that I wanted to be left alone. There was nothing. I didn't have the energy to put forth the effort. He was here and I was not going to make him leave. 

I dabbed my eyes with the single white tissue. It was then that I realized fresh tears were still spilling, even though I was not actively crying. Upon noticing this, Nick's gaze hardened and glanced away from me. It was puzzling and I couldn't figure out what was going on through his head. Anger, sadness, annoyance. It could have been anything. 

"How come you're out here?" I finally asked him. His expression softened once more, as he brought his eyes back to mine. 

"I just wanted to see if you were all right," he replied. "Are you?" 

"I will be. I just need to get out of here." I looked around at what "here" was. The middle of a street. I was still curled up in a ball in the road. Only now, I was not alone.  

I felt a breeze and one of the curls in my hair began to whip me in the face. I reached up, securing the lone ringlet behind my ear. Nick was still looking at me. The same look of curiosity had crossed his face. I had yet to understand why he often looked at me that way. 

"Do you want me to find Andy a ride home so you can leave?" he asked.  

"Screw him. I hate Andy and I couldn't care less what happens to him." With that I stood up briskly, brushing any dirt off my clothes. Nick stood up after me. "I think I'm just going to go home." 

He didn't say anything, but I didn't expect him to. Nor did I care. I paid him no attention as I began the trek to my mother's car. I didn't look back nor did I hear a thing, I could only assume he was still where I left him. When the car came into view I reached into my pocket for the keys, only to find them empty.  

"Crap!" I told myself. I knew where they were. I had them in my hands when I had gone upstairs to find Andy. They were on the couch. They were in the last place I wanted to go.