will you love me like i do ?

chapter 9 : secrets

Y/n p.o.v
Its been three years .. three years since i became a part of survey corps . Three years i deal with my own feelings. Three years of pain.

I love it here at the same time hate it. He shows me his smile juat by talking about her but not about me. The only person who had actually seen his smile in survey corps is me. I feel special about that but also sad at the same time

Why you ask me ?

That smile of his resembles his love

His love for someone

Someone whose not me

Someone whose better than me

Someone who love him just like how he loves them

Who am i ?

A bestfriend

Thats all i will always be . A best friend . He tells me everything. Every single thing . About how it feels how it is to watch her laugh , smile , talk . But he doesnt know how it feel to hear him talk about another person whose not me. It fucking hurts. I love him so much. I want to yell at him . Tell him everything . Tell him how much it hurts.

But do i have the courage ?

No
Never
In
Eternity

I like watching him smile
Even if its not for me
Even if its not ment for me
Even if its ment for her.

Everything about him revolves around her.

Wake up .

Her

Tea time

Her

Lunch

Her

Bedtime

Her

He just wants her badly but he refuse to admit it. Just like how im refusing to tell him how i feel. It just hurts to see him talk about someone else . It just hurts to hear him laugh not about our memories but about theirs.

It just hurt...

Just hurts..

So much i want to rip it out of my body and bury it.

But i cant ..

I just cant ...

He matters to me to much that i only want him to be happy doesnt matter if i am or not.

What can i do ? Every love needs a sacrifice

Levi p.o.v

Y/n has been avoiding me lately . Not to say im sad that shes avoiding me but .. i do feel lonely when shes not around. Shes the only person ive ever told my feeling about petra to. But shes also another person who doesnt know about petra and mines relationship.

Yes. Relationship. I asked her out last year and we've together ever since. But something in me is not accepting our relationship . Everytime i want to see her , y/n comes into the view and my attention turns to her.

I love y/n but only as a sister. As a bestfriend. I havent told her this yet and im going to do it tonight. I find it unfair not telling about this.

(Timeskip)

"Y/n we need to talk " i called her from the stairs.

Rather answering me back like she usually does . She followed me to my room quietly. I find that quite weird cause . Shes not the type of person whose quiet . Especially if shes with me

" what is it ? " she asked in a low voice closing my room door.

"Ive been hiding a secret"