will you love me like i do ?

chapter 8: pain

(Y/n) p.o.v

He bend down to my level . Trust me our lips are dangerously close. Like really close. Id do anything to push forward and kiss now but the thing is ... what will happen next ?? Bad girl.. stop thinking something dirty .. very very badd. My thoughts rang. I shoke my head closed my eyes tighter until "you do know that we are really close right ? One step and ill be kissing you.. everyone needs a reward after helping someone. I need mine too " he whispered into my ears in a low and sexy voice. I looked up at him and saw him dangerously close to me .

It looked like if i dont do what he say he might do something worse. "What do you want ?" I asked in a small voice.

"You look vulnarable .. it makes me want you more " he said as he brushed his lips on my neck... my red turned as red as tomato and without thinking i took the nearest thing .. a book and slamed it on his head .

It must as hurt as fuck.. #guilty but he deserved it . He rubbed his head and looked at me with a smirk .

" so you want to play hard to get ? Trust me i dont like games . Even if participate in one ill win. In this case. Ill make sure that you will fall for me. "

Congratulations! You dont have to play ! You have successfully made me fall for you and yay !!! You have won!! Trust me id trade in billions of bread to tell him these words but... it looks like he caught me in a corner where i cant talk or move.

"Ca.. can.. i go ?? " i asked trembling a little holding the book to my chest.

" i had what i want . You may go " he said walking towards his chair and sat down on it. Instantly he put his legs on his desk  avoiding my glare. Yes. Glare . This bastard almost raped me and he said he got what he wants ? Id really use a frying pan to slam it on his head a thousand times.

I signed deep in relief and walked towards the door  to open it but someone knocked it before i could reach the knob.

"Name and business ? " levi asked

" its me petra corperal . Section comander Erwin Smith ordered me to pass you a file of new recrutes for your sign of agreement " i heard a soft yet shy voice outside the door.

Lost in my own thoughts suddenly a thud woke me up. Looking behind i saw levi on the floor with panic look on his face. Instantly he got up adjust his uniform and hair and sat down like nothing had happen.

"Um... co..come.. in .. ca.. cadet .. " he stuttered .

Is it me or did he just stutter? Is he embaressed that he fell in front of me or what ?

Slowly the door creaked open and the oranged hair girl stepped in . She walked towards his table slowly and handed the file with her head hung low. Im not stupid i wasnt born this morning. I can see clearly she had her face as red as a tomato.

Not only but the one and only strong and stupid ass levi has . By any chance does he ?? It cant be.. no... stupid thoughts. Go away your irritating.

Both of them stood looking at each other as if lighting struck both of them. I have to admit i am kinda jealous. I faked coughed to bring those two idiots back to reality and it work! Yay!!! The broke eye contact and She bowed to him and left the room not even sparing me a glance. I really want to wave my hand in front him now because he continued staring at her even after she left.

I mean if shes standing there its fine . SHES ALREADY GONE WHAT THE USE STARING AT THE DOOR FOR ?!!

" what was that about? " i asked snapping him back into reality.

His excited bright eyes turned dull again when he saw me standing there. To be honest it hurt a little knowing those bright eyes didnt shine for me but for someone else.

" you havent left ? " he asked

" i was here for you whole drama scene" i said looking at him..

" id do anything for you so that you dont open your duck mouth to others " he said looking at me

" tell me everything" i said sitting on the other side of the table.

We spent hours talking about his life and everything else.

I walked out of his room and straight to the tent i made for me to stay . After i entered the tent i let my tears roll free.

It hurts...

It hurts so bad knowing he loves her...

Thw way his eyes sparkle talking about her brought tears into my eyes

I just wanted to cry then and ask him to stop as it was hurting me like hell.

I just want to walk up to him and slap him and scold him for telling me this and tell him how i feel...

I never been in love..
Why does this hurt so bad ??

I hate him....

I hate him for making me feel like this

I hate him for making me feel weak everywhere

I hate him for making me fall in love with him

I hate him for making me cry

But i cant hate him..

It just hurt too much i want to hate him but i cant hate him..

Its only been one week here and im feeling this already ??

Why am i like thiss....

I hate him
But i love him
I want him
But i cant have him
I want to die
But i want to see him
I want to be in her place
But he prefers her over me

It just hurts like fuck ... mum .... i really need you now... if im in this condition you would be here explaining me that everythings ok ...

Where are you when i need you now???

A/N

THIS CHAPTER IS QUITE LONGER THAN I EXPECTED .. BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY