In Love With My Idol: Shawn Mendes

Eighteen

Reader's notice: This chapter contains some MATURE content. Read at your own will.

Janessa

"What do you mean you don't know if you're up for celebrating my birthday with me and everyone?" (Shawn)

"I know, it sounds selfish of me, but it's just after today, I don't know if I can handle being around so many people so soon. And I'm really sorry. I'll try to, but I'm not sure that I can. After the party and the celebration, I'll still be here waiting for you." (me)

"As long as you're going to be okay, you can do whatever you think is going to be best for you. Even if it mean you can't come to the party." (Shawn)

"Thank you Shawn. I promise I'll try to though." (me)

"Okay." (Shawn)

"I'm gonna sleep early for now, and maybe if I'm up for it, I'll wake up for you party and celebration. Okay?" (me)

"Okay." (Shawn)

I hear Shawn leave the room and I do decide to sleep early. I sleep soundly and wake up at about 9pm and check my phone. Shawn left me a message saying where they were going to celebrate in case I changed my mind and wanted to come. I figured I might as well go, but surprise him by not telling him that I'm going. I get dressed into this short silver mini dress, curl my pink locks, put on a little extra makeup than usual, and grab my most comfortable strappy black heels and put them on. When I think I look alright and ready to go, I grab my phone and head out.

I get to the venue and I don't see Shawn yet. It's pretty loud with the music playing and it's dark so I can't see much. I bump into Ziggy and ask if he's seen Shawn and he says he hasn't. It's the same with Brian, Geoff, and Jake, but then when I ask Andrew he points in a certain direction so I head that way. I move through the crowd and I finally see Shawn. And he's.. with some other girl?! He's letting her grind up on him and touch him?

"Shawn?" (I ask with tears brimming my eyes)

"Oh god. Fuck. Nessa this isn't what it looks like." (Shawn)

"No shit it's not. It's not MY BOYFRIEND letting some other girl that's not his girlfriend grind up against him and touch him and.. and.." (I try to keep talking but the tears just start pouring out)

"Jesus Ness, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I got carried away with the partying and I'm sorry. Had a drink too many and I'm not myself right now." (Shawn says reaching out and put his hands on my shoulders)

"No. Don't fucking touch me. I came out to celebrate your birthday and surprise you by coming out when I wasn't up for it. And this! This is what I get from you?!" (I scream as the venue starts to quiet down)

"No Nessa you know it's not like that." (Shawn)

"Oh god I can't. I need to get out of here." (I say clutching my phone and holding my hand to my stomach thinking I'm gonna be sick)

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I walk out of the venue and I can hear Shawn calling my name over and over again. Once I'm outside, I take  deep breath and everything just falls apart. I lean my back against the wall and crouch down, bawling my eyes out. Shawn burst out of the doors to the venue and he searches for me, then finds me crouched against the wall.

"God Ness, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let that other girl dance we me or shit." (Shawn)

"No Shawn you shouldn't have, but you know what. It's your 20th birthday so go have fun. I'm sorry I ruined your night." (me)