~Nikki~
I arrive at home fifteen minutes earlier than usual. Mom isn't home yet, and the house is quiet. I wish that I had brothers or sisters; it's too cold and empty. I'm too cold and empty.
Dex had come back, and I had turned him away. I had turned away the guy I swore to find. I turned away the guy that I had loved. Dex was always special. He made me feel fantastic and perfect and amazing. It was like he was my missing piece. I was his and he was mine. I was Will's, but I still was Dex's.
I just wished that I could figure it out. I wish that the answer would just pop into my head, or that I could travel to the future and see who I'm with.
I sit down on the cold wooden stool that rests against the bar. The walls are beige and plain, and echo the coldness; the numbness. I shake my head and pull out my homework. Nikki, get over it! You are alone! Mom isn't going to pop into the "good-parent" role! Mom isn't going to love you!
Mom didn't love anyone or anything. Dad was it; the love of her life. I was born, and they loved me. Dad died, and suddenly Mom didn't want anything to do with me. I would cry, beg, and scream for her to hold me, but she would shake her head. I became independent at the age of five. I made my own food, put on my own clothes, and cried myself to sleep. Mom would just look at me in disgust, as if Dad made me more lovable. I didn't understand back then why my Mom didn't love me, but now I do. I was a reminder. I was a reminder that she had lost the one person she had trusted with her heart, and she hated me for it. She hated me because I had his eyes, his nose, his feet, and he was dead. Dex was always that one person that still loved me, still held me, and still told me I was beautiful.
I feel my eyes blur with tears. What was with me and crying today? I work through the tears and finish all my homework in record time, but the tears still quiver in the corners of my eyes. I take out the plugs that blast, Jesse's Girl, and tuck it in my back pocket. I pack all my stuff up and begin to prepare dinner. I watch as the water boils, and let the steam push back my tears. I hear the door open, and whip my head around. Mom doesn't come home until late!
"Hello?" I ask, leaning forward on my toes. The house echos my voice, but I hear no answer. God, is this a burglary? Don't go into the living room, Nikki! The people that go in the living room always get killed!
I look around and spot a knife. I can work with a knife! I grab the thick black handle, and hold it in front of me. "I have a knife, and I know how to... dance!" I scream, frowning at the last part. I'm totally going to scare away a burglar with the fact I can dance!
I walk slowly out of the kitchen, pointing the knife forward. I peek around and see the bathroom and hall are empty. I let out a little whimper, and hold the knife tighter. I'm going to have to go into the living room. I slowly enter the living room, glancing around with the knife stretched out in front of me. I hear the footsteps behind me, and whip around.
"Nicole, what is wrong with you?! Can't I come home from work without a knife being pointed at me?" Mom shrieks, the vein popping out on her neck. I squeal and drop the knife, sending it clattering to the ground. I let out a sigh of relief. Mom is better than a burglar, but not by much. At least she's not going to kill me.
"You scared the living crap out of me! I thought I was going to have to stab a burglar!" I pant, clutching my chest.
Mom sighs and looks me over with cold, lifeless eyes. I narrow my eyes at her; something I have never done. I just can't stand her! I don't care if she doesn't love me, but at least treat me like a human being!
"Don't look at your Mother like that, Nicole!" Mom commands, placing her briefcase on the ground.
I step closer to her, so close that we are almost touching. I realize that I am taller than her. "You are not worthy of being called a mother," I spit, hatred burning in my eyes.
YOU ARE READING
Finding Him
Teen FictionNikki Larson was ripped from her first love, Dex Harrison, at the age of thirteen. Heartbroken and angry, she resided in California looking for anyone to take her mind off her lost love. Eventually, the quarterback of the football team begins to tak...