Finding Him

Chapter Fourteen

"Dex, I don't care what you say but Peeta is hot! Seriously, he's hot like fire!" I say, in complete fan-girl mode. I pause the screen at one of Peeta best moments and stare intently at his abs. Dex snorts and I glare at him. Peeta is like my celebrity boyfriend and I am fully prepared to whoop anybody who demeans him.

"He is so not," Dex says, shaking his head. "I'm way more attractive then that guy!"

"No you aren't," a voice says behind us. I whip around, prepared to thank the person for telling Dex the cold hard truth and spot Kate. She has changed from her suit into a flowered dress, just barely casual enough to wear around the house. Her raven hair is braided down her side to about her chest; her hair is that long. When I see her like this she looks so young, maybe even my age.

"Thank you, Katie!" I chirp, gesturing towards her. Dex scowls and peers at the television closer, which I still have paused on Peeta's very handsome face.

"I don't get it," he grumbles. I laugh at his expression and his scowl deepens.

"Don't worry, I still like you," I say, wrapping my arms around him. His scowl disappears and he pulls me closer to him. Kate snorts and comes to sit on the coach beside us.

"So, you guys are like a couple now?" She asks, her voice is nonchalant but I can still detect a hint of curiosity. I look at her and blink. I honestly don't know the answer. I loved being with Dex, but there was something there with Will too. If I just got up and left Will then that would just ruin the point of the words "I love you". I'm not one to throw those words out randomly. You can't just leave the person you love whenever; it's much more of an inward struggle.

"Nikki?" I hear Dex whisper gruffly in my ear. I duck my head and pick at my nails. Kate lets out a breath, knowing she shouldn't have asked.

"Oh, uh, never mind," she whispers. I clear my throat and mumble something that doesn't make any sense before pressing the 'play' button on the remote. Dex scoots away from me, and I sigh. Great, now I can't appreciate Peeta.

~Dex~

As soon as my dear sister says those words it's like a slap to my heart. I'm such a freaking idiot! She hasn't even officially broke up with Will and I'm acting like we've been together for weeks, months, years.

Nikki presses the button on the remote and pulls her knees to her chest. The corners of my mouth twitch up before I pull them into a scowl. Nikki needs to pull it together because I'm not going into this just to have my heart broken.

"Nikki, what...?" I am cut off with Nikki's watery green eyes looking into mine.

"Not now, Dex. Just be here for me now," she says, her eyes pleading. I soften at her expression; she needs me.

I scowl again. I'm my own person, I don't have to do anything based on Nikki! She needs to get things straight, whether or not she need me. What's the expression again? Oh, tough love; Nikki needs some tough love.

"Nikki, this isn't a game!" I seethe, gritting my teeth to contain the hatred I feel for myself just talking like that to her.

Surprisingly, she just nods her head knowingly. She knew what she was getting into, she just didn't want anyone to talk about it yet. I sigh and lean back into the soft leather coach. It smells like my dad's Old Spice shampoo.

The floor creaks as Katie creeps back up the stairs as quickly as possible without bringing attention to herself. I pretend not to notice; I want to be anyone who can get out of this conversation.

Nikki takes a deep breath beside me and smooths down an invisible bump in her hair. She puffs up her cheeks before blowing out and then turns to me. Her eyes are cold, hard steel now. Like I said, she was tough as nails when she needed to be.

"Dex, I'm not doing this because I am like using you as a rebound type thing. OK, remember that and hear me out," she says, slowly and carefully, like she has thought each little detail out.

I stiffen a little at the word rebound. How could I be so stupid, so incredibly stupid?! Of course, I'm the rebound guy! She didn't just magically start liking me, she broke it off with Will first. Him, then me; in a matter of hours. It's impossible, inhuman, to go between guys that fast if you truly have feelings for them.

I clench my jaw and exert all my energy at not snapping at her. I nod stiffly and she pales; knowing she said the wrong thing already.

"So, Allison told me that I shouldn't date anyone until I for sure knew who I liked more. Right now, that's you Dex..."

"Nikki! Don't you understand that you can't just hop between guys until your satisfied! That's not how it works! God, Nikki! Maybe your mom was right, you are a cheater! Admit it, would you have broken up with Will for me if your mom hadn't caused you to split first?!"

I snap my mouth shut. Even I can hear the ice in my voice. Shock, thats that's the first emotion to cross her face. Her lips form a hard line and her eyes widen before she blinks and sags her shoulders. The next look is one of sadness; one that clenches my heart and makes it so hard to keep from apologizing and putting my lips on hers. The next is one I didn't expect; rage.