Finding Him

Chapter Seventeen

~Allison~

I know, I'm not the most cheery person you'll ever meet. I've had my fair share of problems, so occasionally I have a right to sad or angry or heartbroken. Nikki's had her problems too. I mean, for God's sake, her mother is emotionally detached, her dad is dead in the ground, her mom uprooted her in junior high; her life wasn't anywhere near perfect. Yet, Nikki always put on the happiest face. She pushed herself hard in school, in dance, in surfing. I admire this in her. I think it's more of an outlet for her than anything else. Any girl on our dance team will tell you when you see her dance, it's like magic. It's captivating, so intense. The way her face can show the worst pain and most indescribable happiness. The way the sweat shines her tan legs and the way her long tendrils of hair spin around her face. Nikki was gorgeous and smart and everyone thought she was perfect. Nikki is no where near perfect. No one is perfect, it's just a fact.

Most of Nikki's flaws are emotional. She is basically has like an emotion disorder since she's so unadjusted to feelings. She just doesn't know how to deal with feelings. This may sound harsh, but she doesn't like to feel. Her Mom had pushed her farther and farther away, she never had her dad, everyone she ever takes a liking to finds someone way to break her heart. All these reasons made her hard; detached. It was simple really. How could you expect her to know how to love if nobody had ever show her how?

I loved my friends. I loved Mike. The way he was so shy, the way he shook out his thick mop of hair when he was nervous, how he was only confident of himself when he played football. I knew I loved him because my mother and loved me and I saw what that looked like. Nikki has only felt true love once or twice in her whole life.

The thing was when I saw Nikki and Will together, I knew he loved her. Nikki was hesitant, less whole about her emotions. From what I could tell, Nikki wasn't full on in love with Will, but she thought she was.

I knew who she really loved. That person was Dexter Harrison.

It was stunning, the way the looked at each other like they could never look away. The way their smiles multiplied by a trillion when they were around each other. Looking at them you knew they were in love.

Okay, so the problem was this; Nikki thought she loved Will and really loved Dex. Which was she to choose? She couldn't. I knew this.

Will was really low to have went out with Grace so soon. I mean eventually he would've had to go out with someone else, because let's just get this out of the way; Nikki was going to end up with Dex. Love like that doesn't go away.

Currently, I'm mad at Nikki, just because she's the way she is and can't help it if she's an emotional cripple, and I'm mad at Will simply for being Will and screwing everything up to benefit himself. Truth be told, I never really like Will. He was cocky at times and way too quick to anger. I mean, seriously. He punched Dex in the face after what? One little rumor? That's bogus. I'm glad Dex punched him back. He deserved it.

I'm done ranting. It's time for planning. I have to talk to both Will and Dex secretly and find out what they're doing because if I think they're going to screw Nikki up even more then forget it, I'm beating them over the head with a club.

Shawn has already informed me of Will's nasty little behavior with Grace Wilson this morning. God, I wish that girl had just enough mean in her to be hated.

This was going downhill fast. What were we going to do as friends? At lunch? Lunch is going to be quite the show with little Miss Wilson sitting with Will and Nikki and Dex all sitting in the same area.

"Hey beautiful," I hear a whisper say huskily in my ear. I giggle and feel Mike's arms wrap around my waist.

Mike; the only guy who makes or has ever made me giggle. No matter how cliché it sounds; I really think we are soul mates.