unchained

twenty-five

Phil
1:20pm

The end of summer was working it's way over the city and the stifled air had reduced durastically.

I sat, once again, alone in my spot on the corner couch of the cafe where it all began.
Except this time, there was no Dan. There was no spark of excitement inside of me, just emptiness, and there was no Amelia to tell me Dan had gone, because he had gone for real this time.
I glanced around the room at the faces before me. Business was busier than usual and the waiters were walking in between tables constantly. On the opposite side of the room, a group of children were laughing excitedly, their high-pitched squeals filtering into the bubble of sadness around me, keeping me from the outside world.
My intention was to stay here all afternoon, just sitting through to the evening to be at one with my thoughts and my feelings of emptiness. I owed myself that much.
But as I watched the diverse groups of people enter and leave, I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn't face being around people at all.

I missed Dan so much it hurt.

It was so unlike me to mope around pining after Dan, especially since I had been through this before. I'm usually more dynamic, but this time I guess I just didn't want to get over him yet. In a futile attempt to try and distract myself from the world around me the painful argument I had with Dan last night, I took out my laptop from my backpack and opened up another blank page. The white sheet glared at me, forcing me to write. My shaking fingers hovered over the keyboard, and as though someone had awoken me from a deep sleep, I began to write. I wrote drafts about the day I first saw Dan walk in to the cafe after seven years of no contact from him. I wrote a plan about how we first met and what I could remember from high school. I planned it all with the intention of writing the full thing someday. The crazy thing is it took my mind off Dan for a while, but as I was planning, I realised how much I needed him.

Maybe he didn't want me to visit him, maybe he had already started a life of his own again, and maybe he didn't love me back, but I didn't care. Not this time. This time, my journey would be worth it. He was worth it. And even if he rejected me after travelling all the way down to America to declare my love for him once again, at least I'd have some closure and I could then try to move on with my life.

I rose from the sofa steadily, after packing my things away, I grabbed my bag to sling it over my shoulder. But the bag had already fallen from my hands before I could even place it over my arm, because the sight in front of me made stagger backwards, and a sudden surge of happiness rushed through my veins. Goosebumps covered my entire body and I felt a chill roll down my spine.
I was at a loss for words, but my eyes took over for me as tears began to emerge in the rim before cascading down my pale cheeks. Brown, curly hair. Deep brown eyes and dimples.

It was him.

The boy I had fallen in love with in high school all those years ago, and of course, I was still completely and utterly in love with him.

"I made the mistake of not coming back for you once, Phil, and I don't care how different we are, or how much I have to sacrifice to be with you or how long it's been. I love you."
The boy said, inching towards me slowly. With each step, my heart pounded against the inside of my chest. My lungs were heavy and my breathing was shallow.

"Please, let me love you, Phil. I love you. I messed up. I didn't realise that the best thing that has ever happened to me was in the back of my mind, or standing right in front of me all this time."

Tears were streaming down my face as he continued to edge closer. I stuttered inaudible, fragmented sounds intended to be words, inhaling sharply. "Y-you love me? Since when did you love me?"
"Since always," he said softly, "it's just taken me a while to realise how much."

I wanted to hit him for making me think he was gone and hurting me so deeply, I wanted to scream at him, sob even. But in that moment, I was completely weak. I was putty in his hands. I was so in love with him, for all I cared right here and now, he could hurt me as many times as he liked and I'd never be strong enough to refuse him.

He moved even closer until he was practically touching me.
I stammered under his spell.
I was interrupted by his soft hands clasping my jaw, and his lips attaching onto mine. I swear, I could've melted as I wrapped my arms around his waist and his hands swept across my face, deepening the kiss.
It was as though all at once, my entire life had fallen into place. I never wanted to leave his arms. Never.

Eventually, when we pulled away, I caught the eyes of every person in the cafe on us and us alone. My cheeks inflamed and I cowered embarrassingly into Dan's warm arms, but he just laughed, pulling me closer against his chest.
Some of the customers and staff began to cheer, and others were clapping.

"C'mon," he smiled, "we're not sitting here all day like a bunch of, what was it- 'depressed, middle-aged men'?"
"Where are you taking me?" I asked shyly.
"Don't you go all shy on me, now. You'll have to wait and see," he beamed.
"Does this mean you're staying for good?" I tempted.
He nodded, grinning widely.
And with that, he took my hand to pull me out of the cafe.

***
a/n
1.5K??? WOW TYSM!!💞
•ending it the way i started it because i'm a sentimental shit
+
•i'm such a sucker for this song omg
i didn't quote it because all the lyrics apply to both of them in a way fml I'm a wreck hold me😂
•there's one or two more chapters & an epilogue left!