Why Should I Tell You Anything? COMPLETED

The Games They Play

I lay still on Gideon's bed, once again, unable to fall asleep. My eyes burn as my head continues to ache. I kick off the heavy blankets as sweat forms on my skin but I can't do anything about the heavy dress. You would think it would be light and cool, but it is anything but that. The bed has a strange feeling on my back, almost like it's too fluffy and unable to maintain its shape.

I rub my eyes tiredly as I stare up at the darkness. I can hear Gideon mumbling softly from inside the fort but nothing else. Absolute silence. It's driving me insane. It reminds me of the time when our power went out during a blizzard around Christmas time. We were worried that the heat wouldn't come back on before nightfall, but sadly, it didn't come back till morning. I had laid awake at night listening to the smothering silence.

It's strange how you never notice the constant noises of electricity until it's gone.

I have to take loud breaths to make sure I don't go crazy.

Adrien hasn't returned from the "market" yet but I'm fine with that. Adrien seems to be the only one actually mad at me out of the three. I feel better when he's not around. At least Gideon and Shiloh are flexible with this arrangement and not hell-bent on killing me every chance they have. I slowly roll over onto my stomach, unsure if they are light sleepers, and struggle to settle into a comfortable position. I close my eyes again and force myself to drift away by counting and restarting when I yawn.

But my mind is working against me.

All I can think about is home and if Mom managed to escape. If the Masser destroyed my town or returned to its forest cage. On top of that, I can't stop thinking about the boys trying to figure out what they are. I hope they tell me soon, though I don't have high hopes because the moment of explanation will have faded when they wake up. I'm scared they'll go back to how they were before and try killing me again. What do I do if that happens? How am I going to escape?

I open my eyes again to realize I was clenching my teeth. My eyes heavy with a small amount of sleep I gained in a few seconds. I yawn again, hardly able to keep my eyes open, and flip onto my side still hot. I only blinked... Still exhausted, I listen to the soft sounds of the enclosed bedroom. Gideon has stopped mumbling but I can hear Shiloh starting to make a strangled sound. My heart squeezes with sympathy wanting to try waking him up but I'm not sure where Shiloh is in the mess of blankets. Gideon's next to him so I guess he'll wake him up if it gets too bad...

I sit up slowly, brushing my thick hair back trying to tame it. I scan the pitch black room listening for a third set of breathing but I don't hear it. Adrien must still be out. After sitting on the bed for what seems like forever, I realize that I have to use the restroom. Even in disaster situations, you always gotta go. I remember which level was the restroom but I hope they have the same system as we do...

Slowly, I slip off the edge of the bed before standing up on shaky legs. I rub my eyes again as I tiptoe towards the door as silently as possible. As I move quietly, I realize that I smell like Gideon now. It's not a horrible smell but it makes me uncomfortable. I've never had this close of an encounter with boys. I've never hugged a boy outside my family or dated before but that's only because the boys aren't interested in me. And I'm not going to chase a boy any time soon.

A couple girls at school have claimed they love the way their boyfriend smells and steal their sweatshirts to hold onto it. But I don't get what the fuss is about. It's a smell. Everyone has a smell. Why should I be so flustered over it? Besides, I have other things to worry about than shirtless boys and how they smell. Like surviving and escaping.

Honestly, the girls in the books I read are absolutely nuts. It's like the disasters isn't even happening around them. They're so wrapped up in a love triangle and trying to guess each other's feelings and don't even notice that they are going to die soon. I have to stay focused. I won't be like those girls. I have to be smart about this and not get distracted. Besides, I really don't want the boys to hug me... last time I got the life crushed out of me.