Why Should I Tell You Anything? COMPLETED

The Sadist's Resolve

My eyes opened to a blinding light. My temples aching as my mouth felt completely dry. With stiff muscles, my bones crack as I begin to move. I wince beginning to open my mouth to ask where I am but Shiloh's gentle voice shushes me. His soft hand rests on my shoulder, "Take it easy... just rest for now."

I squint through the lights realizing I'm back in the boys' bedroom. The boys. The gruesome images flash through my head. Each revelation a bullet to my brain, the shot echoing off my skull with the whispers of terror edging each wave. Murderers. They are murderers. Gideon's grin burned in my memory next to the image of his bloody knife. Shiloh's dead eyes. The man's desperate screams as they forced him to his death. How much they enjoyed it. That wasn't self-defense. It was pleasure.

A ragged sob escapes my throat as my weak eyes land on Shiloh. He is wearing that blasted bathrobe again but this time, with baggy black pants. His hair damp and hanging from his head in matted knots. His eyes search mine with a distant remorse. I stare at him in horror of what he's done. Of what they all did.

"Get away from me," I threaten, struggling to sit up. My heart racing at the thought of being so close to a murderer. Touching me. Looking at me. Suddenly, I'm a caged animal eyed by the ringmaster who would force me to jump through a ring of fire. I jerk away from his hand, staring at him in horror, "G-Get away!" I shriek.

He withdraws his hand, grimacing. "It wasn't my idea... Adrien wanted-"

"GET AWAY!" I scream again, fumbling for something to throw at him. I have to get out of here! I have to escape!

The door begins to open but it only sets me off. I kick at the blankets, still in the black dress, and try to scramble across the mattress to run. Shiloh tries to catch me but I stop all on my own when I look up to see the other murderer in the room.

Gideon.

Bile rises up my throat with terror and pure disgust. My eyes narrow trying to look scary but all I feel is terror. I can't do this. No more waiting. I have to get out of here! His eyes widen seeming caught-off guard. Memories of his dark smile and bloody knife flash through my head again. But shortly after, I'm bombarded with the horrible memories of my breakdown. How his neck felt wrapped in my hands. How it felt to try breaking his wrists under my feet. How it felt to hold his carved knife and the hot blood staining my own hands. To dig the knife tip into his arm. The fear in his eyes.

"Eve?" Shiloh asks warily from behind.

Gideon remains frozen as he watches me. My eyes flick to his upper arm where he clutches tightly. My heart sinks. He wears a thin black shirt but I can see the white bandages wrapped tightly around his arm. I can see faint bruises around his neck from my hands. How could I have done that? Why did I do that? I don't remember what happened when I broke away from Adrien. It was a messy blur of tears. I couldn't have done that...

"Gideon," Shiloh warns, "you have to get out of here."

Gideon remains frozen. His mouth forming a straight line with distant eyes.

My eyes well up with tears as I remember exactly why I tried to kill him. I burst into tears as shame overwhelms me. I drop back onto the bed, shielding my face from them and begin to sob. My breath stolen away by my own cries as hot tears roll down my cheeks. I wanted to kill him, but escaping wasn't my main focus. I could have just knocked him out and ran. I didn't have to torture him. It was utter rage that drove me there. I was... I felt... Insane. Did I actually go insane by watching that man tortured to his death?

"Why?" I cry into the mattress, trembling from fear of my own hands, "Why did I-?"

"Eve..." Shiloh pleads, "Eve don't-, please don't do this to yourself... the more you think about it... the worse it gets, trust me. Just-"