Why Should I Tell You Anything? COMPLETED

Midnight Musings

Unsure what to do with myself after all the new discoveries, I laid on Gideon's bed staring up at the ceiling. If I don't move, then nothing will happen. I can just shut everything out and calm down. Taking deep breaths, I fold my hands over my stomach wishing for my sweatpants again. Or my phone. Maybe I could try calling Mom. I hope she's okay...

Gideon... truly is a messed up person. The way I see it, he was abused by others when he was younger though he saw it as being "used". It didn't take much to figure out what a Serex is. It must have been horrible for him... It's emotionally damaging to normal children who are abused once when they are younger but to be put through all that...? To be an outcast his entire life... I can see the triggers for becoming a killer in his story now looking back. His twisted revenge. His anger against his mother. His feelings are more complex than I realized. He isn't just a killer.

He's an abused boy who has lived his whole life viewed as a mistake. The image of Gideon's younger version flashes through my head again. But this time, I see a sad expression as he stared off into the dark forest. And I can't help but wonder... is Adrien's story worse? Adrien lacks empathy and has no hesitation in killing. Gideon doesn't hesitate due to a strange and dark way of justice for his own birth. But for Adrien? What happened to him?

I rub my eyes tiredly. There I go again. Seeing good in every dark heart. A blessing and a curse. I'm sympathizing these killers and turning them into the victims. Is this okay? Or is this just self-preservation in disguise to avoid extreme trauma in the future? I think I understand how Belle felt when she was trapped by the Beast...

My hands trace the black lace hidden in the silk layers of my full skirt. I glance down at my bare shoulders and begin to pull the drooping sleeves up, unsure if I like my shoulders bare like that. I know the showing shoulder skin isn't a sin or a turn-on but I don't like the fact that the neckline is dropping because of it.

A resolve of my own begins to form as I lay in silence. There could be a chance to help them, though I'm not sure how. But I need to be careful. They are still killers and I need to be alert of that. Now more than ever. Maybe if I could get on their good side they would let me go... I just need to calm down. Act like everything is okay. I can't linger on my thoughts for very long. I have to keep pushing on.

A random thought crosses my mind as I organize my thoughts. What time is it? It was four in the morning when I went to sleep... what time did I wake up and how long was I out? Time truly is slipping away from me here without a clock. It's stressing me out with every unseeable second. I hate the fact that I don't have a clock I can check whenever I need too. Another thing I oddly miss as I fall asleep.

〰✷〰

"Addy?"

"Yes, Gideon?"

"I want a bird."

Adrien sighs loudly. "And why do you want a bird, Gideon?"

"I don't know... I think it could be kinda cool to have a pet bird."

"But it'll poop all over the place, you can't control where a bird poops."

"I know... we'll get a cage. Maybe we could train it."

"You mean, I'll have to train it," Adrien grumbles. "What made you think of getting a bird?"

"Dunno. I just want a bird to sit on my shoulder."

"Then put Shy on your shoulder. Problem solved."

Shiloh moans softly from deep in his fort. "I'm not going on his shoulder," he mumbles loudly.