CRASH (Harry Styles and Demi Lovato)

Chapter 12 ∽ Remembering Chelsea

DEMI'S POV

NUMB. It is the state of being unable to think, feel, or react normally because of something that shocked or upset you. It is the manner of being devoid from all emotions, from all ability to feel.

Right now, this was exactly how I felt: Numb from all the emotions, numb from all the pain of losing someone I deeply cared about, numb from all the tears that I've shed, and numb from all the guilt of beng partly responsible for this great tragedy... I have been consumed by all these emotions and now there was just nothing left for me to generate.

Looking at Chelsea at this very moment, with all the color drained from her sculpted cheeks, her crimson red hair now dull and devitalized, and with all the life she used to have now snatched from her soul, I felt nothing.

I wanted to cry but not a single tear was falling from my eyes. I want to be angry for what happened to her, but my body seemed to be too exhausted to exert anymore effort to do so. I wanted to feel pain; the pain of losing a companion, a listener, a sister, and a bestfriend, but my heart couldn't take anymore of it. It just couldn't take any more.

"Oh Chelsea... I'm really, really sorry." I ran my shaking fingers through the cold, hard glass confining Chelsea's petite lifeless body. I bent down to place my lips on the crystalized material just above her cheek, taking the closest chance I had of kissing her goodbye.

"Please forgive me in your unwaking slumber and remember me in your endless rest," I mumbled out to her one last time, before a pair of slim hands gripped my shoulders.

"Dems, our turn is up," Brianna whispered through sniffles into my ear as she gently pulles me away from the dreadful wooden box they decided to enclose Chelsea in.

As we stepped away from Chelsea, her family took our place in front of her, also to bid her their last farewells. As soon as Caroline saw her daughter, she broke into loud wails that could be heard across the cemetery. Me and Brianna take our seats in between Nick and Raph and as soon as Brianna sat down, she cried quietly on Raph's shoulders, who was also at the edge of tears. On the other hand, I leaned on the backrest of my chair and watched as Chelsea's family wept their hearts out, feeling the loss of their daughter.

From my seat in the front row, I scanned my eyes through the huge tent that was currently giving us shade from the gloomy clouds. Chelsea's friends and family, all in tears. It was such a bilious sight to see everyone mourn for the sudden death of a once lovely girl.

As I continued to survey the surroundings, my eyes caught the stare of a couple of green ones. His expression was sad, sorry even, as he looked at me from the fifth row. I remained staring over my shoulders, glued to his forest green-colored gaze, before Nick's arm snaked around me.

"What are you looking at?" He followed my gaze where Harry was no longer staring, but already immersed in a conversation with Zayn whom was sitting beside him. It was still a surprise to me that they knew each other, and are very good friends too. Who would have thought Harry knew Chelsea's cousin all along?

"I don't get why he has to be here," Nick said with a hint of annoyance laced in his voice. I glanced at him only to see him giving Harry a glare.

"He knew Chelsea too, Nick... and don't you remember? He was at the hospital when Chelsea, you know—" I tried to explain to him but struggled with saying the last word.

"Died?" Nick finished for me, sparing me the trouble of saying the dreaded word. I nodded as I finished my explanation and he faced me with his eyebrows creased, "That's another thing, I'm still not happy about you meeting up with him."

I rolled my eyes at him and heaved out a sigh... here we go again with this shit.

"I thought we were over this? Like I said before, we met up and he told me he was sorry for what he did to you then in the middle of our conversation Cherry called, and he offered to drive me to the hospital. That's was it. No big deal," I said to him for what felt like the hundredth time I've told him already.