How to Piss Off A Super Soldier. By: Thor Odinson

How to Get Ready for Super Twins and Avoid Kidnapping. By: The Avengers

The next day Steve forced himself out of bed, wincing at heavier pains brought on by the children. He hated complaining, he did, because it brought everyone else down but literally everything hurt. His feet hurt, his legs hurt, his head hurt, his hips hurt, his back hurt, his organs hurt, his chest hurt, his wrists hurt, his stomach hurt... Everyday all he could do was ache. One particular morning, He forced on some clothes that barely fit and walked out of the bedroom, only to discover he had gotten up a lot earlier than he had thought, finding no one in the main room.

He hummed in thought and went to the bathroom, and walked back in to get himself some breakfast. Oh, did he mention it hurt to walk? A lot. With the back pains he always had one hand pressed into his lower back to help it support the massive bump (that felt more like a mountain to the blond) so he was always one hand short. He walked like a damn penguin to help maneuver about and his hips hurt so much from having children pushed against them they hurt as well, so it hurt every time he swung his legs about to walk. He swear he would get bone damage soon. On top of all of this he couldn't stay seated for more than twenty minutes at a time because he ALWAYS had to use the bathroom.

So over all Steve felt like he was in hell. At least he was strong. He was sure he would be dead by now if he was still his normal self. He managed to get a bowl of cereal and lower himself onto one of chairs, thinking that one day they would break from under him due to just the fact that the chair would find it funny. Damn chair. It wasn't Steve's fault he was having monster sized infants.

Sometimes the pain echoing through his own body was so bad it propelled him into tears of agony. This was rare due to his high pain threshold but sometimes it did get that bad. Right now he was on the verge, after giving up on actually finding a way to lean forward to eat from the table he waddled his way to the couch quickly and took a seat, resting the bowl on his stomach and turning on the television. "At least it's good for something..." He muttered cynically.

Slowly the blond was actually able to get comfortable on the couch and hummed to himself, setting the bowl aside and wrote a list of everything they needed for the babies before he actually was ready to pop.

•Clean out guest room

•Buy 2 cribs

•Buy buy light blue and dark red paint

•Paint guest room

•Setup cribs, changing tables, dressers etc.

•Buy clothes

•Buy some toys/pacifiers

That's all he needed for now. He still went by traditional standards, not considering the child alive until it was crying in his arms. He winced heavily at a heavy kick from one of the little devils, shaking his head. It's like they knew he wasn't thinking of them as alive. Once everyone was awake he would discuss finally getting everything, as everyone seemed to equally ignore the fact that there is to be very loud and obnoxious twins very soon and Steve was very well at such a stage where he could go into labor any week now.

Finally they did get this underway that afternoon. Natasha and Clint were sent out to go and get things for the babies, along the lines of clothes, pacifiers, blankets, and a few toys. Thor and Tony were sent out to get paint and Steve ordered two cribs online, while Bucky and Bruce helped clear the junk out of the guest room, after of course dismissing multiple pleads from Steve with a retort from Bruce, "Steve it pains you to stand up I think you can sit this one out."

So that week ended up being increasingly hectic. Bruce and Tony worked on building the cribs and Steve, Natasha and Clint happily painted the nursery, the blond liking that he could feel productive for once, but all of the standing was starting to hurt so incredibly bad Steve started to shake with pain. He constantly gasped heavily and shut his eyes, legs shaking as he struggled to stand, hot tears refusing to fall down his face. Natasha swiftly got a chair and let him fall back into it. "Bruce!" She called nervously as the blond heaved for air in between clenching everything from all of the pain.