Love and Basketball (Camren)

Chapter 29

Lauren's POV

I stared at my ceiling, deep into my thoughts wondering why my life was the way it is.

Why'd I have to born with the shitty father that I have? Why'd my mom, the sweetest, kindest, most caring person in the world, had to get cancer?

It's all just so confusing and I don't understand what I did to deserve any of this.

I've always helped those who needed it, been there for those close to me, taken care of everyone. I've done good in school, in sports, in everything that I could and yet here I am.

Could I have done something in my past life to disrupt the one that I have now? That could be the only reason for every terrible thing that's happened in my life.

I know I shouldn't, but I hate my dad. Why can't I just be good enough for him? All my life I just wanted to impress him and make him proud but nothing I seem to do is ever good enough.

I knew I shouldn't have smoked by myself before going to bed. I always get to thinking about the things that plague me, my harsh reality. Sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.

I feel like everything is falling apart and the one person that can keep me together, I'm pushing- I've pushed away.

She's the small light at the end of the tunnel that can make all of my problems go away. They don't seem to exist when I'm with her.

I'm not even upset or mad anymore about what she did. I just miss her so much but I don't know how to tell her that. It should be easy but for some reason I can't. She probably thinks I hate her when that is far from the truth or she probably doesn't even want anything to do with me. I've gone so long without talking to her I wouldn't know what to say or where to begin.

Yeah, I was pissed and angry but all of that was in the moment. A moment isn't worth losing the girl I fell in love with.

I haven't talked to her in I don't know how long which is ridiculous because she's tried so hard to talk to me. I always seem to run away from my problems instead of facing them. Facing them makes it all the more real.

I couldn't help but let out a saddened laugh,

"I'm even bad at being a girlfriend, the one thing I thought I was good at." I let out a sarcastic huff, turning over and turning my lamp off.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about any of this anymore.

Sleeping was my medicine for taking the pain of reality away.

•••••••

"25 laps and then meet me in the center of the court." All of my teammates groaned but I immediately got to it, turning my headphones up. When I had my music playing, I was in my zone.

Basketball was my favorite thing in the world, even though I was forced to play I learned to love it and now I enjoy the sport more than anything. Nothing matters when I'm on that court but lately I've seemed to lose the joy I once had. It seems like a chore. Other than Camila, basketball was keeping me going but I guess with everything going on and all these changes, it's hard for me to connect.

"Okay Lauren, you're at the top of the key." My coach announced, pointing his finger for me to get into position. "Now run the play, any mess ups and that's 7 full court suicides."

These coaches were intense and entirely too serious. We're high school players, not professionals in the WNBA, but what can I expect? My dad sent me here for a reason, they're illustrious basketball program.