The Younger Girl

Chapter 38

Collae POV

Almost every night.

It was almost every night.

It was almost every night I could see Harrison trying to attack me. I didn't know what to feel. I felt stupid all over again for letting someone get close to me. I should've listened to Theo's warnings about him but I guess a part of me just wanted to go against Theo and just make decisions for myself.

Everyone kept asking me if I wanted to press charges but what would that look like? Me a black woman accusing a white man of attempted rape? I've seen this before. I wasn't sure if it was worth the headache. Theo was willing to do justice for me but he had way too much to lose. I couldn't put him in that position no matter how much I wanted Harrison to pay.

I couldn't let anyone get in the way of Theo's future. Especially when he was going to father our baby. It wasn't worth it to me. I'm a firm believer in karma and Harrison's pathetic life would soon see it.

Theo's been really sweet to me but we still haven't got back together. I really wanted to on so many occasions to just kiss his plush lips and have him have his way with me but I couldn't let him slide so fast. I still often thought about his interaction with Gia. I wish I could erase the memory from my head so I could just forgive him.

I didn't want to feel helpless anymore. I didn't want to feel like a puppy just following after their owner. I didn't like the path that I was on. I know my parents wouldn't have liked it either. I had to get myself together and really start to reflect on who I am. I let a boy come into my life and completely shake it up. It seemed like after that after we met I haven't had a moment of peace.

I didn't know if that meant Theo was bad for me or if my life was drastically changing for the better. What I did know is that I didn't want Theo to be a lesson. I've never said it to him but I love Theo. I haven't been able to fix my mouth to say it to him, I wasn't sure if it was because I was scared or because I felt ashamed and embarrassed to say it after every thing.

"Collae what's up?" My nana disrupted my deep thought, thank god she did, "You okay baby?"

"Nana how did you know you loved papa?" I sighed resting my chin in my palm. She glanced at me for a moment before going into thought.

"Well, even though me and your papa don't speak anymore, I've always loved him, I knew I loved him, not for what he could do for me because he didn't have much, but for how he made me feel," I could see her reminiscing, "He could pick out a sunflower from the dirt and make it feel like the most romantic thing, he made me feel special, he was real, and I would get butterflies just being on the phone with him, if he was picking me up for a date, and when I got pregnant with your father he was scared but he stayed by my side."

"I wish things worked out between you two, it sounds like a dream," I pitied my nana, I felt that it was hard finding love the older you got. Or at least the love you're looking for. She might've been seeing someone now but will it be enough?

"Well, Collae baby, when you get older you'll see that sometimes people grow apart, it doesn't always have to end bad but seeing eye to eye changes as people themselves change, you can't dwell on things that are out of your control. You just have to accost that that was once your life and now you're in a new place," She shrugged handing me a plate of dinner.

My nana was always so well put. I didn't know why I didn't develop those same traits being that I've been under her wing all these years.

"Nana, I really like Theo, I'm not sure if I love him yet but it feels like it's stronger than just liking him, even though he really hurt me I can't seem to get past how I feel about him," I needed to talk to someone. Kaitlyn wouldn't want to hear about this because she's been anti-Theo for a while now.

"Collae it's really important to find the line between attachment and love baby," she kissed my forehead, "I'm a little tired, I'm going to lye down for a little, but just think about what I said."

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I know very short chapter but the rest will be longer. :)