Bad

eight

he looks at me as if he were scared for me. he moves the hair out of my face, gripping onto the side of my cheek. what did this mean? does he like me?

"i don't think we should do anything else." he explains, pulling his pants back on. i feel myself being sexually frustrated. which the son of a bitch taught me! i roll my eyes. he chuckles, "oh really?" he a pecks my lips, like we were dating or something. he realizes what he did and starts to stutter, "uhh-uhm i gotta go fiona needs me." um its not like he checked his phone or something? he's really just trying to leave. i wave. he uses a side smile and leaves out the front door. soon after veronica make her way up to my doorway.

"when did carl get here ms. thing?" i sigh, i feel tears build up against my eyes, veronica sits next to me on the bed and pulls me into her shoulder as i begin to cry. i miss her. i miss my mom.

the next day i throw my hair into a high pony and light makeup, feeling better than i did yesterday. i finally got some real feelings and tears out. i put on a pair of white ripped skinny jeans and a yellow off the shoulder crop top, paired with black vans that i thrifted.

i pull my backpack on my shoulder and walk out of the house. veronica had to be home this morning for her twins.

i get to school and sit next to jake in homeroom. "hey um, noah where've you been?" i roll my eyes, like he cares. "my mom died." his eyes open completely, along with his mouth. does nobody know? do they think i just dropped out? carl never said anything? then how does debbie know?

i sit up in my chair, "you didn't know?" he shakes his head. "that's why i haven't been in school." he only says oh.

the bell rings and i didn't have science today, thank god, so i head to my first class, english! i mentally prepare myself for the intense amount of homework i'm about to get. i sit next to kris and wait for the teacher to approach me. "mrs. chavez, i am so sorry for your loss." she makes her way around the table and hugs me, i hug her back. i didn't know she was nice? "we'll talk after class, okay?" i nod and she begins to teach. so does everyone know or not?

debbie texts me,

come to my place after school! i miss you. xo

i smile at my phone. i miss her too. we haven't talked a lot at all recently, and she's my bestfriend. i've been too distracted, even if it is with my mother's death, she needs me too. i wonder what happened with her and derek..

after class i walk over to the her desk, "you said we were supposed to talk?" she nods. "you don't have to make up any of the work, i'll put it in as excused." she smiles and me, wait really? thank god. i knew i'd get the most homework in this class. "thank you!" i walk out of the classroom and into my next class.

after school i make my way to the gallagher household, praying not to see carl, thinking it'd be awkward. does he like me or not? how do i tell him i like him without telling him i never liked jake in general. the door opens, it's lip.

"hey lip." he smiles at me, i haven't seen him in awhile. "where have you been chavez?" i smile, he used to stand up for me and debbie with our bullies.. i miss the dude, i wonder what's going on with him. "my mom died." he knew. he just hugs me, "i gotta go, but we can talk later if you want." he's still the same amazing guy. i nod and he leaves the house, i walk inside.

no signs of carl as i walk into debbie's room, his bedroom door swings open. it's the girl. the girl he "broke up with." she smiles at me, not thinking i'm anyone special to carl.. my stomach yurns. is he serious? i guess we aren't together, or even did anything. but really? after yesterday? i thought it was special. i walk into his room, getting ready to confront him.

he's laying on his bed, relaxing after what just happened in here when he sees me at the doorway. his eyes widen. "noah shit." i laugh. "real classy gallagher." i close his door and walk into debbie's room, locking her door after i get in.

debbie's sitting on her bed with frannie in her lap. "why'd you lock the door?" i just shrug, not caring to think of an excuse at all. i sit down next to her. "hey debs." i smile since we haven't even seen each other since my mom died.

she brings me into a hug and frannie starts to cry, "crap. can you get carl?" "why do you need him?" there's no way i'm gonna go over there. "he's really good with frannie. she stops crying when she sees him." i sigh, if it's for frannie then fine. i push myself of of the twin bed and open her bedroom door, preparing myself to talk to him.

i walk down the hallway, and through his door. he's on the bed, headphones in. he looks like he's thinking about something. i knock on the wall to get his attention, "noah.. i thought you left." he sits up, giving me his full attention. "debbie needs you." i don't let myself speak anymore. he just nods and walks over to where i'm standing. "noah i'm-" "don't." i really don't want to hear what he has to say. we aren't together, and he probably just feels bad for me.

he walks into debbie's room and i see him walk out with frannie in his arms. she had stopped crying. husband material? nononono.

i walk into debbie's room. we're finally alone to talk without any distractions. she tells me that derek and her had gotten back together. i'm happy for her but i'm afraid he's going to end up hurting her again. i just nod and she gives me a huge grin.

later that night we found ourselves sprawled out on the couch watching movies after frannie had fallen asleep. we were binge watching all of the purges when suddenly there was a gunshot. i jumped, but then realized it was just a movie. then not even two seconds later i feel a tap on my right shoulder. i snap my head a little to quickly, "oh my god carl!" he chuckles, "can i join you guys." no. no you cannot. but i can't say that since debbie's here.

"sure." he sits down next to me and takes like half of my blanket. a couple minutes back into watching i feel a hand on my thigh. he has got to be kidding me. i realize i can't slap the dude because debbie is sitting right next to me so i just leave it and roll my eyes.

he hasn't done anything so i forgot about his hand even being there. there's another scare and i jump, carl squeezes my thigh, i just look at him. he smiles softly and mouthes to me "you're safe."

Oooooof! Hope you guys enjoyed :)

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