Bad

fifteen

// (unedited)
word count. 700

debbie said she wasn't mad.. but since she hasn't returned my texts in over a week i'm guessing she's not.

and i've been avoiding carl.

at school when we lock eyes, i turn the other way or jog down a different hall. i don't want to make debbie upset, any more than i already have.

i look around the hall to make sure carl is gone so that i can get to my locker in peace.

as soon as he leaves i go to grab my stuff but i guess it isn't that easy when he grabbed the sides of my hips and turned me around to face him.

"are you avoiding me?"

yes.

"no, why would you think that?" i say with my more than normal amount of social anxiety.

"because you checked the halls and as soon as i left you walked in."

"that's not true." carl rolled his eyes and scoffed at me, his hands still rested upon my hips.

i push his hands off at me, and walk closer so he backs up but he doesn't, he stays exactly where he was.

"carl move."

he glances down at my lips and then to my eyes a couple times.

when he starts to lean in i remember debbie. my hand goes up in front of me as carl pulls back.

"what's going on?" he asks, finally taking a step back.

"debbie knows."

"debbie knows what?"

damn he's really dense.

"about us."

"what about us?"

"the whole situation.."

"so what?"

"so she's my bestfriend."

"it's not a big deal, it's not like we're dating."

right.

"i have to go carl, please just leave me alone from now on."

he looked confused as i walked away, but he deserves to be a little confused after he's been confusing me for years.

brandon taps on my shoulder as i was deeply thinking about carl. so i didn't even realize it until he tapped me about five times.

"jesus what?" i pull out my headphones and turn to him, slightly annoyed.

"um i was just wondering if you wanted to come over later, hang out? i got some pot but i don't know if you're into that.." a blush crept on his cheeks, aw.

i smiled, looking down at the broken tile.

"so is that a yes..?" he tucked his lip in as he finished his sentence.

i nod, "yeah i would like that."

i've never actually smoked before. i mean it's been offered to me countless times but, i don't know i guess i've just never really wanted to.

but, i wasn't gonna let him know that.

brandon let me walk into his room first, walking past me and plopping down onto his large bed. i crawled up next to him, laying on his side. "you know, you are really clean for a teenage boy."

he laughs, "thanks? i think." i smile, lifting my body up by my elbows, just staring at his face as he stares up at his ceiling.

he feels eyes on him, "stop staring at me." he pushes a pillow at me and tries to hide his blush but can't.

"you're just so fucking cuteeeeee." i grin, kissing his cheek.

he rolls me over now hovering over me, his legs between mine. "you wanna get high?" he holds onto strands of my hair and analyzes my facial features.

"um yeah." i smile softly, i always pictured my first time with carl, many first times with carl.

he pulls his backpack up to his bed and unzips it, pulling out a little bag and showing me everything. i gulp a little, kinda scared but not wanting to show it.

he lights the end of it and takes a hit, inhaling deep with a little cough.

i watch him intensely, studying his exact movements.

he passes it to me, lying back onto his side and touching my hips as i take my first ever hit.

i cough a little too much and he laughs, "you good?"

i smile, "yeah i'm fine."

i glance around his room as he takes it from me, i find him again, "do you wanna have sex?"

the day of firsts.