his body maybe lost, but his soul has been found.
it's been weeks. you left me. you escaped my grasp. you disappeared into nothingness. you vanished from my life leaving nothing but the ghost of you behind.
it's true about what they say when no one cares about you until you're dead. because no one seemed to care until you left.
it was awful. you're old friends came to the service. richard and steven. you told me you disliked them for leaving you. for doubting you. they left you.
michael, luke, and ashton have been staying at the house ever since we found out. no one really talks to each other. we cry together. we live together. we feel together. but we don't talk together.
why didn't you tell me? why couldn't you tell me? what happened to our wedding on mars? what happened to our future? you left me here without my heart. i need my heart. i need you.
your mother comes by every monday. she brings food and comforts us. i know who you got your strength from.
i don't know if you know this but, i was made to love you calum. i was created to give you love. and i guess i failed at the only task i was given.
i don't think i can do it. please come by and check up on me. but i don't think i can live another day without you. i need y-
"don't say that my love."
you whip your head around only to be met with silence and your empty room. trembling your hands rub your dry eyes as you turn forward. picking up the pencil once more, you decide to continue your letter.
"you know, it's rude to ignore people, especially someone you love."
you drop your pencil as the voice rings through your head. he. it's a he. and he sounds like calum. you turn once more and there is a boy sitting on your bed. the boy you love is sitting on your bed.
you bring your hands up to your mouth as you rise from your desk chair.
"hey stranger, recognize me?" calum laughs.
you slowly make your way towards him reaching out to feel his soft hair. he was cold and dry. his skin had lost it's warmth. he still smelled of musk and a light essence of vanilla.
you couldn't speak and could hardly think straight. his presence was merely a dream of some sort quite possibly. he was not here. there's no way he's here. you put both of your hands on his icy cheeks.
"hey baby. c'mon and dance with me a while."
he grabbed your hands and placed them on his waist. you looked into his chocolate brown eyes, almost lifeless, yet comforting.
"h-how?" you mumble while admiring each detail of him.
"i saw you hurting my love. i'm always here. for you, for the boys. there are just some days i let my presence be known," he smiles.
you lean your head on his chest and squeeze him tighter. he laughs placing his head on yours.
"why'd you leave us? why did-" you hesitate, "why did you leave me?"
calum looked into your glossy orbs trying to avoid the question. he knew it'd come up but he didn't want you to jump to any conclusions.
"i'm sorry, i'm so so so sorry. i felt like i wasn't good enough for you. i felt like the boys didn't like me. i felt alone. i know it's stupid, i get that, but it's hard. when it gets to your head it's hard. but, i want you to know that i'm not hurting anymore and i'm still going to be here with you, always."
you walk away to your speaker turning the music up. you didn't want to talk about it anymore. you just wanted to live this moment with calum. just you and him and the melody playing in the background.
you both continue to dance and share laughs until the sun begins to set. he leads you to your bed, laying for a while. you fall asleep on his chest without hearing the sound of his beating heart.
...
when you wake up he's gone. your recollection of your small moment together was all he left. you laid in bed rethinking what you shared with the ghost of your lover. you still wore his old led zeppelin shirt and remember how much he loved it, especially on you. his body maybe lost, but his soul has been found. and he's riding out the wave of happiness as we speak.
sorry this took awhile and it's gross ik i'll fix it eventually..
