we're "family"

12

"Happy birthday" i smile and say "thanks harry" and then he kissed me and i kiss back but nothing was there anymore.
It died when wade came back into my life by calling me. He felt it to but we didn't want to be alone so we are just going along with thing's. Everyone can see it too especially tony he keeps asking me about it and i tell him that we are fine but we aren't.
I'm not.
Wade took that away from me as soon as my eye's layed on him i just i went back to my loser self from freshman year. I heard a snap in front of my face and i blink a couple times and see it was harry he laughed and said "everything okay" i nod and say "yeah i'm fi-" and behind him i saw wade leaning against a tree since me and harry are having a date. He insisted since today is my birthday and he wanted to do something sweet. I get up and walk away and walk to wade.

He smiled at me and said "happy birthday petey" i said "i want you to leave me alone" he sighed and i said "please" he said "peter i still love you why can't that be enough" i said "because i don't love you anymore wade okay i love harry i will always love harry okay you had your chance 2 years ago and you didn't take it you just left" he said "you don't love him i can see it" i said "i love harry wade i will never love you again ever so it's either you accept that or leave me alone because this thing between us is causing drama and i don't need that with finals coming up" he just walked away and i look down and then look up and let a breath out and put a fake smile on and walk back over and harry said "what was that about" i said "nothing don't worry about it just an old friend" he smiled and nodded and then kissed me.
He gave me a watch which was nice and then after eating and hanging out he drove me home we walk inside and see everyone jump out and i smile and we celebrated my birthday i put on a happy front but in reality i didn't want to do anything for it because back at that place when it hit midnight on my birthday he blasted happy birthday which scared me since he knew when my birthday was but also because he was nicer to me but like in a flirty way and i told him to please stop and that caused me a lot of pain so that just kind of ruined my birthday for like ever.
"Hey peter you okay you don't seem to be enjoying yourself" i put on a smile and said "no i am i'm having a great time thanks" he nodded and patted my back and then got up and left and a few minutes later harry left and kissed me goodbye .
I went to sleep that night feeling uneasy. I wake up in the middle of the night and i look at the time and see it's 3 i rub my hands down my face and stare at the ceiling.
I get up and walk out of my room and walk into the kitchen and get a glass of water. I sit down on the couch and turn the tv on and turn it down a lot and lean my arm on the arm rest and lean my head on my hand and i stare at the tv.
I woke up to tony shaking me awake. I rub my eye's and stretch and he said "are you okay why did you sleep out here" i said "i woke up in the middle of the night not being able to go back to sleep so i sat out here and watched tv until i finally fell asleep" he nodded and said "well harry is waiting outside to take you to school" i nod and then get up and walk to my room and get dressed and walk to the car with my phone in one hand and my bag in another.
We drive to school and we get out and i walk to my locker and he walked to his.
I stand at mine just starring at it zoned out. A few minutes later i felt a tap on my shoulder and i quickly turn around and see wade but blink a couple times and he became harry again. And i don't know what came over me but i just felt really sick and he said "babe are you okay you look confused" i slowly nod and said "i'm going home" he said "wh-what the day just started" i nod and look him in the eye and hug him and said "i love you harry" and then pull away and don't wait for him to say it back i leave.
I walk all the way home but i make a detour. I arrive at wades building and stare up at his apartment i do love him still i do but i can't be with him i could of if he stayed but not now.

I make it home and walk through the front door still feeling sick. It looks like no one is home.
I walk to my room and am scratching the back of my neck and then i heard someone clear their throats and i start saying "le-" and then i looked up and dropped my bag and took a step and he smiled and my heart started pounding.
He said "hey peter i've missed you" i don't do anything he laughed and my body froze even more and he said "what have i told you about ignoring a friend peter it's very rude and i thought that the time we spent together taught you some manners" i still don't do anything he stood up and my body wouldn't move.
He walked closer to me and said "i've heard about your new abilitys peter and i do have to say myself that is quite extraordinary" i swallow hard and he ran his fingers on my shoulder and it sent chills up my spine.
He said "but you wouldn't of thought this was real could you" i still don't say anything he whispered right next to my ear "it's not" and then pulled his head away and said "your little boy toy harry has made sure to keep you asleep all of this is just a dream your never escaping peter you are going to die alone in that cell weather you like it or not" i start to not be able to breath and he smiled at me and said "goodnight peter" and then whispered in my ear again "wake up."
I shoot up in tony's arm's in my room i look around no no no no no no no no. I try to fight away from tony but it felt like he had a death grip on me. I finally did get away and stood up and he said "peter it's okay okay your okay" i just walk out of my room and everyone in the living room i can't breath and i feel sick. I leave and it's raining.
I walk to wades building and i walk to his apartment and knock on the front door and few minutes later he opened it and i hug him while standing on my tip toes. He hugged back and i cry into his shoulder and he rubbed my back i just keep saying "i'm sorry" over and over again.
By the time i was done my eye's burned and i was tired. We are sitting on his couch and it's silent.
But finally i look up at him and he was already looking at me but he quickly looked away. I looked down and said "i do still love you wade" he said "i know" i said "but i just" i stop and put my head in my heads thinking about the dream and said "i just can't be with you" he said "i know" i nod no and said "no you don't it's not because of harry" i look up at him looking confused i said "i went through some pretty messed up stu-" he said "you don't have to tell me peter" i said "i went through some pretty messed up stuff about 2 years ago right before i met you and i've tried to forget it but it just won't leave my head and god sometimes i don't even know what's real and what isn't" he said "i'm real peter" i look at him and look around his apartment i said "i just" he moved closer to me and grabbed my hand and put it on his heart and said "i'm real" i close my eye's and let a breath out then lay my head on his forehead and it felt really good to feel his heartbeat. I say "i know your real wade but sometimes like earlier i have these dreams where he's just talking and telling me that this isn't real and it's hard to believe someone when your mind is telling you the complete opposite" he didn't say anything but a few seconds went by and his heart beat started beating faster.
I finally lift my head up and say "your heart beat is really fast" he nodded and said "it's because of what i'm about to do" i look at him confused and then he grabbed my face and kissed me.
I quickly pull away and reality hits me like a truck and i get up and said "oh my god" he stood up and said "what" i said "what am i doing here i have a boyfriend" i start to walk away freaking out but wade grabbed my wrist and pulled me back and said "peter don't leave" i look into his eye's and i want kiss him but then harry comes to mind and i say "i-i'm sorry i just i-i can't" and then i left.
I sit down on a bench and put my head in my hands and let a breath out and a few minutes later i heard "oh thank god" i lift my head up and see tony he walked over and sat down next to me.
I move into the same position as i was in before and he said "everyone is worried peter you woke up freaked out and then you left" i don't say anything he said "you haven't had that bad a dream in a long time what's going on is it school stressing you out or harry just please tell me what's going on" i still don't say anything he sighed and i do too.
We sat there for a while and then finally his phone rang and he answered it and said "hey" "yeah i found him" "okay" "yeah see you in a bit" and then hung up and said "are you ready to go home" i don't have a home.
That might hold my things and have my bed and family but it isn't my home. It was taken away the same day i did everything was taken away from me that day.
But i know what i can do to fix that.