ORIGINAL:The Boy With A Touch Of Cancer(BxB)

21. Hello Mr. heartache

Here's a little author's note before you start reading, and you need to pay attention to it. 😆

I'm just giving you guys a heads up that this chapter gets pretty dark. It's obviously in the aftermath of Will's death, so that already sad, but some pretty heavy shit happens in this chapter, and I just wanted to give you guys a warning.

That's all. You can read your chapter now.

The expression of deep sorrow for someone who has died, typically involving following certain conventions, such as wearing all black clothing.

That was Google's definition of the word 'mourning.'

At some point I learned that definition, I'm sure, and it was like my brain subconsciously told me to wear all black this morning.
Black t-shirt under a charcoal grey jacket, black jeans, and a black baseball cap (backward, of course). Whether it was appropriate for late spring in Florida, or 90-degree weather, I couldn't give a shit less.

Will... Passed away...
I couldn't get that thought out of my head since I woke up this morning. Since I woke up alone, and naked; and for 1 blissful second, I couldn't remember anything that happened the following day... Then the memory of yesterday came crashing down on top of me.
First, the news that Will died, then the memory of every wonderful moment Leo and I shared was ruined by the pain and emptiness the memory of Will's death caused.
It was just a recurring wave of destruction; constantly washing over me. Constantly causing me indescribable pain; all fucking morning.
Then came the next stage... The stage of pure emptiness.
That's all I felt after if bawled my eyes out again: empty. I felt totally and completely empty.

I remember one time when I was in the worst, most painful part of my useless treatments when I couldn't physically stand up on my own, or eat anything without puking it back up, and I remember Will telling me one 'specific' thing that I always remember when I feel like shit.

"I know this is going to sound cheesy and believe me it is, but I always find comfort in these words when I feel like shit." He paused dramatically, and I rolled my eyes. "Even though you feel like shit now, just remember: whether you have to be heavily medicated, or it's genuine, you will always find something to cheer you up." He smirked at me, obviously pleased with himself that his cheesy speech had made me smile when it physically hurt to do so. "And that reason is most likely me, as your already smiling."
"You don't have to be so smug asshole..."

That moment, that specific memory has been replaying over and over in my head since I woke up and forced myself out of bed this morning. And it didn't make me feel better, all it did was make it hurt more.

I glanced at my phone when it vibrated on the end table; already knowing who it was.
I really didn't wanna talk to Abby...hell, I didn't want to talk to anyone, but I trudged over to the table and swiped my phone off of it; knowing that I had to text her back sometime.

2 unread messages from: Leo

Hey babe. ❤️
I just wanted to see how you were doing...and if there was anything I could do to make you feel better?

Leo. Leo was texting me.
Normally I would've been excited, or almost (very gayly) jumping up and down when he texted me, but I felt nothing. Literally nothing.

I wasn't happy, or excited when I read his text: I felt nothing at all.
The pain and the heartache were gone; replaced with a numbness I couldn't even begin to describe. I almost wanted the pain to be back, just so I could feel something. Anything. But I felt nothing at all.