Figuring out who I am

Being bi

I was in primary school when I first figured that I liked girls and boys. I thought that something was wrong with me. I tried to change the way I looked at girls and how I felt..it didn't work. I thought that something was wrong with me and I felt like a monster. As well as figuring this out I was moving into a secondary school, so you can imagine the confusion and anxiety that was being built up.

Not long after I started in secondary school my family wanted to move...the move was quite a big one. The move was from a small seaside town called Scarborough to a big city called Sunderland. Moving meant leaving my friends and family, and losing them meant losing a lot of close bonds. I was completely against the idea but my little voice didn't compare to my families decisions. So as you are probably figuring out we moved. And that move was probably the worst but the best decision of my life.

So let's skip the months of planning, the goodbyes and the tears. We are officially moved in a couple of days after my 12th birthday. Yeah, it was a shitty birthday. We didn't even celebrate it because of the move. Anyways I was a small child, but big in the weight. I thought that I was an okay weight, and my weight never bothered me until I saw this extremely skinny girl. But it wasn't just one it seems that everyone who I saw was extremely skinny and this leads to a lot of implications. And those implications lead to self-harm thoughts and I acted on them. At first, it was one of two, and I always said I'd never do anymore ever again...that was a lie.

At this time a lot was going on, but this shit was only the start. Anyways I signed up to a youth group (which is still going to this day, I know surprising). In this group, I saw this beautiful girl, and I started to become really close to her and we ended up being best friends. At the time we were friends it was amazing, as well as her there were these other two beautiful girls. I hated myself for liking them and wanting to be more than friends with them, so I hid the fact that I was into them. I didn't know what being 'bi' was at this point, and I wish I did know and I wish I didn't hide it. I regret hiding it because all of those girls ended up being gay or bi, what a coincidence.

It wasn't until about a year later I accepted myself, and it was scary. Also, that is kinda what I looked like at the time (see header).

A/N: Hi, hello! Okay, so I am super bad at remembering to update. So I probably won't upload daily but I will, however, upload as much as I can. Okay, I hope you lovelies are having a great day<3:)