Demonic Love

Chapter 5

It took us two weeks to get to the camp. Much of it was ashes, but luckily the supplies Lana had brought through her portal before we headed out had replaced most of it. She came up to us, smiling, "Glad you boys are here. You take over. I need a hot bath." She handed over a stack of reports before opening a portal and stepping through it to go home. We had sent her on ahead to assist with the casualties and bring more supplies. I read through the reports while the others went to get settled.

A quarter of the men were dead, another quarter were injured. The half that were okay were currently training and honing their skills. It's been a centuries since our last war but for those of us who were in the last one, it feels as if it had happened only yesterday.

Rain poured on the blood soaked battlefield, humans and demons both lay dead at my feet. My sword was heavy, the fatigue from battle making me weak. My wings dragged on the ground, through the blood and mud. I looked at my fallen brethren. Their eyes vacant, their souls now with the Gods. Never to walk the Earth again, while I am still here. While I am left with the pain and nightmares of this war. I am not alone though, for I am not the only survivor. Many still were still alive, but from the looks many of them held, they wished they weren't.

I continued forward, my eyes finding every discarded, sword, shield, and helmet. My eyes seeing the damage done to the land that our battle had caused. This was once a beautiful field where wildlife roamed. Then we had to come along scar it with our brutality and bloodshed. It was not just us who paid the price from war. Animals lost their homes, plants trampled, the land tainted. We may have survived the physical war, but the war within us will rage on for centuries to come as we mourn those we lost. How many women am I going to have to face that blame my father and I for their mate dying? How many women are families going to have to bury because they ended their own lives to go be with their mates when they felt them die?

It wasn't just women who had lost their mates, I realized as I looked upon the living. There were many men mated to each other who fought alongside their loved one. How many of them will take their lives to be with their mate? How many will I try to stop? The answer to that last question was simple, it was none. Who am I to stop someone from being with the person they love? What right would I have when their mate is gone because of me? Because of a war we forgot the purpose of?

I looked at the sword in my hand, will I take my own life? I have no one. My parents were dead, my father by my own hands, my brothers and sister hated me, and my people didn't trust me. Who would? I was just a barely past puberty. My mate won't even want me once I find her. I was a monster both inside and out. I didn't regret taking the lives of my enemy, but I did regret not saving the lives of my men. Call it survivor's guilt if you will, but it is my burden to carry.

My foot hit a helmet and it clattered across the ground, being stopped by a foot. I followed that foot up to Xan, my most trusted general. A century older than me, this isn't his first war, but if I could help it, it will be his last. Neither of us said anything, both feeling the pain of what happened here. Both of us silently swearing that it will never happen again.

I pulled my thoughts from the past. I tried to avoid this upcoming war as much as possible, but Dimo asked for it. This time though, I had something worth fighting for. My beautiful ray of light waiting for me back home. I will gladly lay my life on the line for her and our people over and over again. They were mine to protect and I will do just that till my dying breath.

After making my rounds, checking on the injured, conversing with the soldiers, I eventually made it to my tent. A bed was waiting for me with a trunk at the foot of it. A desk was also in the tent. A wooden stand for my armor was in the corner. I sighed and stripped off my clothes, the weather making it too hot for even my undershorts.

I laid on the bed, wishing my mate was here with me to make this bed more comfortable. A glow from my bag caught my attention. I opened it and saw the message book glowing with a message from Raven.

Hello my love,
These last few days without you have been hell. Both of my hands are now healed, but I have yet to pick up my hammer because I have been trying to get through the mound of paperwork on the desk, deal with a line outside the castle daily of women asking about their mates, and helping Yinsy with her and Xan's baby boy. She gave birth last night and it was truly something. She went with the name Xan had picked out, Axiom. He looks a lot like Yinsy, but he does have Xan's eyes. Let Xan know Axiom and Yinsy are perfectly fine and are waiting for him to come home.

I miss you and I'm counting down the minutes till I get to see you again. I know you're busy and that I shouldn't distract you and I have tried to refrain from writing you for no reason, but I can't help myself. I miss you, and this is all I have until you're here. Unfortunately by the time you return I will have worn almost all your shirts to the point they no longer smell like you, so I hope you hurry home.

                            Love Raven.

I smiled as I read the words over and over. I threw on a pair of pants and left my tent to go find Xan. I found him on the field polishing his sword as he laughed and joked with a few a soldiers. He jumped up immediately, "You received a message from Raven. Is Yinsy okay?" "Yinsy and Axiom are doing fine and are waiting for you to return," I told him. He smiled widely, "It's a boy." Jansin smiled, "Congrats pops." Several others congratulated him as he sat down, the happiest smile on his face. I walked back to my tent, wondering what it would be like to have children of my own.

I had never thought about it until now. Having children was extremely hard. It's why after being mated for a century Jansin and Tiya only have four kids, all of whom vary greatly in age. Yinsy and Xan have been mated almost twice as long and Axiom is their first. But still the thought of having children, made my heart swell. Raven would make a great mother, even if she doesn't see herself as such.

I stripped my pants back off before I laid down and began to write back.

Hello my beautiful queen,
Being away from you is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I pray that this is the last time that it ever happens. Leave the paperwork for me when I come home. You've gone so long without your hands, that I want you to take advantage of it and do what you love. As for the line up every morning, I'm sorry that can't be helped. Everyone wants to know and there is no way of keeping them all updated. The best thing we can do is pray we make it. Xan is over the moon and is smiling like an idiot, which he has every right to do. It makes me think about kids of our own some day. Although it's probably a long ways a way, I still look forward to that day.

I love that you're wearing my shirts, that means when I wear them, they'll be covered in your scent. I miss you so much and I am counting the minutes till I get to see you again.

                           Love Azia.

After I finished writing to her I tucked it away so I could get some sleep.