Chanel's Fics

你曾经爱过我，我目前还爱着你。 - Hunhan

你曾经爱过我，我目前还爱着你。

Summary: sometimes luhan wishes it was him who had flown through the windscreen. That way he wouldn't have to experience losing sehun's love.

//

his seemingly perfect world turned ugly in a matter of milliseconds.

sehun, seated by his side in the car, was complaining of frozen fingers. luhan had tugged them towards his lips in an attempt to warm them up with his breath, and sehun had half-heartedly tried to pull them away, whining about how mushy luhan is.

distracted by sehun's smile and cold-tinged fingertips, luhan had forgotten to remind sehun to fasten his seatbelt.

he barely registers the sudden increase in light coming from behind before sehun's hands are wrenched from his and everything goes black.

luhan thinks nothing will ever consume him inside-out with guilt as much as that mistake does.

♕

there's an ache coming from somewhere near his chest cavity.

luhan squints against the FLUORESCENT LIGHTS, and the straps of the oxygen mask around his mouth dig painfully into his skin.

experimentally, luhan stretches his fingers. nothing hurts there.

toes? nothing hurts either.

raising his right arm to tug the mask off, luhan winces at the sharp pain that shoots up his limb. the mask clatters to the floor, and in a matter of minutes, THE NURSE on duty rushes in.

she voices her surprise at luhan's awakening and dashes off to retrieve the doctor.

luhan could care less.

because you see, before the entrance of the nurse, luhan had realised that sehun wasn't by his side.

sehun's always by his side.

♕

luhan doesn't leave sehun's bedside APART from retrieving food and going to the bathroom.

he's there long enough to watch the stitches on sehun's face dissolve, the scars as they heal and fade, and the twitching of sehun's eyes.

THE OPENING of those eyes marked the second in which everything changed.

sometimes, luhan wishes sehun never woke up.

that way, he can love sehun and have sehun love him back, too.

♕

luhan is nothing to sehun. not a touch of the fingers, not the curve of lips, not even the whisper of a name.

but sehun believes that luhan should be something to him, because the tears in the other man's eyes cannot be anything but the truth.

despite all that, sehun finds himself wondering how someone he doesn't know can love him this much. don't you think something's wrong? he wants to ask. it just isn't right.

but the ray of hope in luhan's face when sehun agrees to go home with him pushes those questions away for just a little while.

perhaps, sehun thinks, the love he was supposed to have for luhan will magically re-appear one day. isn't that how fairytales go?

and judging by the stories luhan has told him, their love should be more than just a fairytale.

but then again, fairytales aren't real.