Chanel's Fics

27 - Hunhan

27

Summary: Luhan spends 11 years in love with Sehun.

//

Luhan is sixteen when he first sees Sehun. Twelve year old Sehun wanders the toy store. His knees are red and there are a few fresh cuts on them. One right across the knee and the other right under it. He has bright blue shorts on that hang just above the scars. A loose white tank top with English words that Luhan can’t read hang over his shoulders. His dark brown HAIR FALLING lightly against his milky skin.

Luhan’s looking for a new soccer ball, the one he has is beat up and has a cut in the side from his cleats. He knows he’s been too rough on it but sometimes he likes to kick it with all his body has to give.

There’s a bright red soccer ball with white lines going in between. Luhan picks it off the shelf, his toes having to hold him up as he grabs it. The ball feels firm in his hands, like it should be. Luhan drops it to the ground and kicks it around carefully, not wanting to kick it into the things on the other SHELVES.

Twelve year old Sehun runs past the isle Luhan’s in. His figure is blurred and giggles slurred into shrieks of laughter. Twelve year old Sehun comes back and sees the red ball being kicked between sixteen year old Luhan.

“Hey, can I try?”

Luhan looks at the smaller boy. He’s not much shorter, the top of his head at Luhan’s chin, but it’s enough that he needs to look down at him. Luhan thinks Sehun is much too thin, his elbows sticking out like bends in winter tree branches and his cheek bones stick out from under the skin. Sixteen year old Luhan looks down at Sehun, the younger boy with a bright, hopeful smile on his light pink lips. And Luhan nods.

Sehun is good at soccer. He pushes the ball from between Luhan’s feet when he’s attempting to go past Sehun. He stops the ball perfectly with the ball of his foot and kicks in a straight line when he passes it to Luhan.

“You’re really good.” Sehun says when Luhan catches the ball in his hands.

“You too.” Luhan pants.

Twelve year old Sehun turns around when his name is heard from the end of the isle. “I have to go, thanks for PLAYING with me!”

Sixteen year old Luhan nods and smiles at the younger boy. He watches the way the back of his ankles slide out from his shoes, his feet being too skinny to fit them properly. *************
Eighteen year old Luhan spots large moving trucks in front of the house across the street. He sees furniture being pulled and carried up the long driveway, multiple colors and shapes of couches and tables. He spots a large black couch that has trouble fitting through the front door. He watches until the movers decide to go to the back and fit it in the door there.

There are three trucks and a mini van parked in front of the house. At least twenty movers go in and out of the house quickly, but with precision. Luhan sees a couple standing on the front lawn, telling the movers which lamp goes to which room and where to place the couch when they reach the inside. Luhan’s fingers pull his shade open, giving him a better view.

A large soccer goal is carried by two smaller men. They stop several times, adjusting the net that gets tangled in their fingers as they carry it. Luhan smiles. He thinks he’ll have a friend to play soccer with. The summer weather is good and playing soccer alone isn’t as fun as he makes it out to be.

Luhan thinks he’ll wait until the next day to go over and say hello to the new neighbors, hoping he’ll catch the person who plays soccer. ******************


Luhan wakes the next morning to the sound of the doorbell ringing loudly throughout the house. He slumps back against his bed and pulls the covers over himself. It’s summer and he doesn’t like getting up early. The clock on his table read only past nine; way too early for a summer day.

He faintly hears his mother talking as he drifts in and out of sleep. Luhan curls up under his blanket, the air conditioning being too cold and shivers running throughout his body. His body get comfortable and the dream he was having picks up where he left off.

“Luhan, darling, are you awake?” His mother’s voice is heard through his door. It brings him back out of his dream state. Luhan lets out a quiet grumble, too sleepy to properly make words come from his lips. “The boy next door has come over to say hello.”

Luhan already is drifted back to sleep when his mother walks into the room. Her body makes the bed creak as she sits down next to him, fingers tugging at the blanket that covers most of his body. He lets out a mumble of ‘got it, mom,’ and ‘i’ll be down in a minute.’

The boy waits in front of the door. Under his arm is a soccer ball, snuggly held between his arm and torso. He shakes his head as Luhan’s mother asks him if he needs food, water, or would like to sit down while he waits. But Luhan is already walking down the hallway and towards the stairs.

“Oh, here he comes now.”

Luhan rubs his eyes as he walks down the stairs at a slow pace. His fingers grip the railing, making sure he doesn’t fall due to his eyes being barely open. When he reaches the bottom of the steps, he sees the boy standing in front of him.

Fourteen year old Sehun looks much different from twelve year old Sehun. A abundance of chocolate brown locks, his bangs looking too long and needed to be pushed to the side every few seconds. He’s taller than he used to be, the top of his head reaching Luhan’s eyes and Luhan no longer has to tilt his head completely to look down at him. He’s still far too skinny. Elbows stick out and wrists looking as if they’ll break with one twitch.

Sehun doesn’t give him the look that Luhan gives him. He wonders if Sehun remembers him from the store two years ago. Maybe he was too young to remember such a simple thing of meeting someone in an isle. Luhan remembers it though. He remembers the lisp that made him smile and laugh, wondering if he’d have it forever. Luhan looks at Sehun’s lips, trying to see any traces of a lisp that would come from them.

“Hi, I’m Sehun.”

His body bends forward into a bow and Luhan has to hold back a laugh because the lisp is still there. He thinks it’s one of the best things about the boy who is too skinny.

“Luhan.” He decides to leave out the part about remembering that they met in the department store two years ago. He’d rather learn about the Sehun in front of him.

“Um, my mom told me you played soccer.” Sehun’s arm moves so the ball rolls into his hand. His fingers grip at the curves, making his nails press against it lightly and Luhan can see the ball dip where his fingers are pressed. “Your mom called yesterday and told her.”

Sehun’s cheeks heat up in embarrassment and Luhan nods. ***********
“Wow, you’re really good at this.” Sehun pants between each word, attempting to catch his breath as Luhan relentlessly kicks the ball towards him. Even out of breath and sweat sliding down the side of his cheek, Sehun manages to catch the ball with his foot and return the kick back to Luhan.

“I play on my school’s team. And, I practice a lot.” Luhan smiles, watching as Sehun fails to catch the ball. His body gives out and he slides down onto the grass, arms stretching out above him.

Luhan laughs and joins the other boy, his body laying down next to his. They’re both sweaty. Bangs sticking to their forehead and shirts clinging to their thin bodies. Luhan can’t help but notice how Sehun’s grown up. He’s still young at fourteen but he looks much older. The way his face curves and turns at all the right angles, his nose being a beautiful shape that anyone would be jealous of. And the way his eyes hold a much more mature Sehun than what his age gives off. Luhan tries to remember what he was doing at fourteen and his nose scrunches up.

They lay together until Luhan’s mother comes with bottles of water and sandwiches for lunch. Sehun mumbles a few embarrassed thank you’s and his cheeks heat up. Luhan laughs into his sandwich.

It doesn’t take them long to finish off the four sandwiches that were on the plate. Sehun eating two and a half and Luhan eating the other one and a half. He asks Sehun if he wanted more but he shyly declines.

Luhan waves goodbye to Sehun just after two. Sehun tells him he has to go to his dance class and that he’ll be back after dinner. Luhan nods in response and smiles, his fingers curling around the front door. ****************
Luhan and Sehun play soccer everyday. Luhan gets up at eight thirty in the mornings. He looks out his window and catches Sehun walking across the street, soccer ball under his arm and a bag of waters and sweets.

They play until two comes and Sehun has to go home. Luhan asks about Sehun’s dancing. He learns that Sehun likes hip hop and even jazz on occasions. But Sehun is too shy to show him anything he’s learned.

Luhan thinks it’s cute how shy Sehun is. Even after seeing him everyday for weeks, he still blushes and turns his head away often. Luhan only teases him a couple times before Sehun yells at him and stops off one day.

Days pass and Sehun doesn’t come over in the mornings anymore. Luhan still wakes up at eight thirty and he still looks out the window. But fourteen year old Sehun doesn’t walk across the street in his bright blue sneakers and tank top that’s too big for his thin frame. ****************

Eighteen and a half year old Luhan sees fourteen and a half year old Sehun on the first day of school. Like the rest of his clothes, the uniform is too big for him. It fits him on the shoulders and hips but hands loose the rest of the places on him. His bangs are trimmed and they’re pushed to the side, hiding most of his forehead.

Their eyes meet in their math class. Luhan turns to look at the clock hanging above the door but he gets distracted by Sehun’s eyes looking at him. Brown eyes meet brown and Luhan feels his lips part. Fourteen and a half year old Sehun shyly looks away, eyes meeting his blank notebook on his desk.

Luhan spots the other sitting alone at lunch. It’s obvious that he doesn’t have any friends yet, only having been in school for a few hours. Luhan hears his name being called by his friends, desperate to get his attention back onto theirs as they continue with their summer stories.

Chanyeol whines and hits Luhan on the arm when his eyes revert back to looking at Sehun. The boy picks at his food, not one piece being picked up or eaten. Luhan frowns, knowing he’s too skinny and he needs to eat as much as he can get. He rubs his arm, skin still stinging from Chanyeol’s slap.

His attention shifts to his friends only when Sehun gets up, throwing away his food and leaves the cafeteria. *************


It’s storming the next time Luhan sees Sehun. The power had gone out and the only light in his room coming from a tiny candle, one that Luhan had purchased the previous weekend. It’s too hot and Luhan fans himself with a handmade paper fan.

The doorbell rings, chimes echoing throughout the house. It only takes a few seconds for it to be opened by his mother. Luhan can hear only small whispers of the conversation before the door is shut and no more talking can be heard.

Luhan sighs, his back hitting his bed, cushioned by the several blankets that rest on his bed. His eyes open when he hears his door open. Luhan sits up to see a wet Sehun standing in front of the door.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s the first time Luhan sees Sehun cry. He learns that fourteen and a half year old Sehun is scared of thunderstorms. *************
“Merry Christmas!”

Luhan shakes the box in his hand as Sehun climbs onto Luhan’s bed. They both laugh and Sehun takes the box into his hands slowly, shaking it more to see if he can hear anything inside. Luhan sits down next to the other on the bed, his hands holding him up as he leans back.

It doesn’t take long for Sehun to open the present. He pulls out the Christmas sweater Luhan bought last week at H&M. It’s white and thick, ready to give Sehun’s thin body something to warm up in. Sehun pulls it on over his long sleeved shirt. Luhan’s hands run over his chest and arms to see how it fits on him. He smiles to himself, knowing that he picked the right size.

“Thanks, it’s really comfy.”

Luhan nods quickly and hugs Sehun, happy that he likes his gift.

“Ah, I got you something too!” Sehun leans back and reaches into his bag that he’s thrown on the bed. He reaches in and pulls out a box much like the ones he’s received from Luhan.

The box contains a Manchester Untied flag. It’s big but not too big that Luhan can’t open it fully. Luhan grins, thankful he’s told Sehun his favorite team. Sehun helps Luhan hang it over his bed, the flag being spread out from one corner to the other, happily fluttering in the air coming from the vent.

Sehun curls up with the sweater keeping him warm as he sleeps next to Luhan on his bed. They fall asleep to the sound of snow brushing against the windowsill. ******************
Luhan graduates from high school in the beginning of summer. He’s not at the top of his class but he’s not at the bottom either. Soccer had given him a scholarship to a nearby college and he had full plans to continue playing during the years.

Nineteen year old Luhan and fifteen year old Sehun spend the rest of the day together. They play soccer and share memories of the school year together. They laugh about how Chanyeol got detention for a week straight and how Baekhyun let Jongdae do his eyeliner one morning. Luhan congratulates Sehun on the dancing showcase he’d attended the night before. Sehun blushes and pushes on Luhan’s shoulder, burying his face against his arm.

They go out for bubble tea after dinner. Sehun sharing his chocolate and Luhan sharing his honeydew. They buy a slice of cake from a nearby cafe and eat together on the edge of the river.

Luhan thinks Sehun’s gained a bit of weight. His elbows don’t stick out as much and muscle begins to take over what was simply skin and bone. The two scars still stain his milky complexion on his legs. ******************


Sixteen year old Sehun visits Luhan in college. He comes every weekend and spends the night, sleeping next to Luhan on his bed. Twenty year old Luhan doesn’t mind at all and welcomes Sehun every weekend with open arms and fresh stories to tell him.

Luhan takes Sehun to a party one weekend. It’s Sehun’s first party but he acts like it’s his hundredth. It only takes three beers to get Sehun drunk. Only five to get Luhan where Sehun is.

Sehun dances with Luhan. Skin brushing against skin as they move together in the dark. A strobe light is the only thing giving them light to look at each other. Both of their cheeks are tinted pink from the alcohol and perhaps their closeness together.

Hands wrap around hips and arms hook around shoulders. Luhan is the one to turn around first, his ass pressing against Sehun’s hips. The younger brushes his hands up and down Luhan’s back and down to his hips, pulling them against him more as they grind together to the music.

Twenty year old Luhan grabs Sehun by the arm and tugs him down the hallway. Lips press against each other occasionally, making Sehun release quiet whimpers that are hushed by Luhan’s lips.

Sehun is the first one down on the bed, his legs spreading and they allow Luhan to come between them. Clothes are thrown to the tiled floor and the only thing Luhan can feel is the warmth of Sehun’s skin.

“Luhan..”

Lubed fingers slide in and out of Sehun, making his muscles tighten and relax at every thrust. His back arches and whimpers, pleads, and a slur of Luhan’s name comes out of his swollen lips. Luhan kisses the curve of Sehun’s hipbones that stick out too much for his liking.

They move together in harmony. Sehun’s hips roll up while Luhan’s roll down to his. Lips press kisses along each other’s jaws and necks, savoring the way sweat tastes against their skin. Sehun finishes first, long milky streaks dirtying his stomach up to the crook of his neck. Luhan’s own chest being dirtied when he finishes and lays on top of Sehun. ******************
Eighteen year old Sehun smiles and waves at twenty-two year old Luhan that sits in the audience. There’s a bright blush on Sehun’s cheeks as he walks across the stage and gets handed his diploma. Luhan laughs and pulls his camera up, taking a picture of the bright smile that Sehun gives off before walking off the stage.

Sehun wraps his arms tightly around Luhan when the ceremony is finished. He’s given several bouquets of flowers from family and friends but he only takes the yellow ones in a pink wrapping that Luhan gives him. They share several kisses and Sehun gives him the same shy look that Luhan loves. ********************


Sehun doesn’t go to college. He concentrates on dancing instead, taking up more classes and doing more competitions. Twenty year old Sehun moves into to Luhan’s apartment after being asked.

Luhan attends his first showcase that Sehun is in. It’s the first time he’s seen him dance and Luhan falls in love again. He sees the bruises and cuts that Sehun’s gotten over time. Too many slips and falls to the hard floor of the dance studio and too many times he’s cut himself dancing in the house.

The skinny teenager turns into a muscular one. Luhan’s hands having a hard time wrapping around Sehun’s arm that’s full of muscle and makes him whimper if he feels it for too long. They spend most of the morning’s in bed together before Luhan goes to work.

When he comes home, Luhan often finds Sehun walking around in only underwear or nothing at all. Luckily, Sehun likes to help Luhan release the stress from the day until they fall asleep in each other’s arms. ********************
Twenty-six year old Luhan comes home one day to Sehun curled up in the bathroom. The room reeks of vomit and other bodily functions that Luhan doesn’t want to smell. He asks Sehun what’s wrong and he says he’s just got the stomach flu.

The stomach flu goes on for a week. Luhan see’s Sehun’s muscles become bone again, as he can’t keep anything down. He see’s the happy eyes that sparkle each time Luhan walks in, turn to sleepy ones that struggle to stay open during the day.

Luhan lays in bed with Sehun, nursing him the best he can. He feeds him soup and other things he doesn’t have to chew. But nothing stays down and Sehun’s back over the bed, throwing up into the trashcan.

One day, Luhan walks into the bedroom to find Sehun on the floor. He’s unconscious and there’s a small puddle of blood under his head. Luhan panics and calls an ambulance. He sobs into Sehun’s hand as he rides with him to the hospital.

The doctor comes in hours after Sehun’s come back from his last test. He’s awake but can barely keep himself conscious. Only staying awake enough to smile at Luhan and tell him that he’s okay. He’s just got the stomach flu. But the doctor hands him a chart and Luhan reads it. Twenty-two year old Sehun has cancer. **********************
Luhan watches as the days pass. He sleeps on the firm couch in the corner of the hospital room, the one that makes his back ache and deep red lines in his skin from the fabric. He watches as Sehun gets taken for tests every morning and every evening after dinner. He watches as the thin boy he met in the department store comes back.

Sehun doesn’t talk much. He only tells Luhan he loves him before each test and thanks him for still being there when he comes back. Luhan always tells him what the doctors say about the tests. How he’s not getting better, but he’s not getting worse either. Sehun only smiles and grips Luhan’s hand with all his strength.

They spend their birthday’s together in the hospital. Luhan goes out and get’s Sehun a bright blue balloon that sparkles in the light from the gift shop downstairs. Sehun smiles only for a moment before tears come from his eyes. He didn’t get anything for Luhan. But Luhan shakes his head and tells him he doesn’t have to get him anything. Sehun cries for hours and Luhan thinks that things have finally hit him.


***********************
Things get better over the summer. Sehun’s able to sit up and talk more than he used to. The tests begin to come back better and the doctor walks in with a smile on his lips every time. Sehun doesn’t cry as much and he smiles more, more to himself.

Luhan comes into the room to see Sehun snacking on a chocolate bar and Luhan laughs. “Shouldn’t you be having something healthier?”

Sehun shakes his head quickly, the bangs of his wig wiggling as he laughs around the chocolate bar. “You’re the one that tells me to gain more weight!” Sehun holds the half eaten chocolate bar up in the air and laughs. “What do you have in there?”

The bag that Sehun points to is put on the bed. Luhan reaches in and pulls out a small velvet box and Sehun’s eyes widen. Luhan can feel his heart pound in his chest as he opens it, revealing a silver band with tiny diamonds around it.

“Will you marry me?”

Sehun drops the chocolate bar and parts of it break when it hits the table that hovers over his lap. “W-What?”

“I said, will you marry me?”

Twenty-three year old Sehun looks at twenty-seven year old Luhan with disbelief. “Why would you want to marry me?”

“Because I love you.” Luhan can see the tears beginning to form in the corner of Sehun’s eyes. It’s been a few weeks since Sehun’s cried and the brown eyes quickly blink to force them away.

“But i’m going to die.” His voice is shaky and the IV line connected to his arm wiggles as he pushes himself up against the bed.

“You’re not going to die, Sehun. And-” Luhan shakes his head and grips the box in his fingers. “I still love you and I still want to marry you. Regardless of how sick you are.”

Sehun shakes his head quickly and closes his eyes. Luhan sits down on the chair that he’d placed next to the bed before leaving earlier. He watches as Sehun struggles for words.

“But being married means forever, right?” He laughs quietly, teeth pressing against his bottom lip. “I can’t give you forever. Forever doesn’t exist.” Luhan sucks in a breath and his lips part to argue the point but Sehun continues speaking. “I can’t love you forever because I don’t have forever. One day you’re going to wake up and forever will mean nothing. There’s not going to be an Oh Sehun in room four-thirty-two on the fourth floor with the blue hospital gown and bright white band around his wrist. There’s only going to be an empty bed and some papers for you to sign. Who would want to have that left? Then you’re left with everything. I can’t give you money to help pay for these bills. I can’t hold you and hug you because I might get sick. I can’t even kiss you. Why would you want to marry that?!” Tears stream down Sehun’s face as he grips the blanket that covers his the lower half of his body. “Wouldn’t being alone, be better than that?”

Luhan shakes his head at the words. “Do you love me now, Sehun?” It takes a few seconds for Sehun to nod in response, his eyes squeezed shut. “And will you love me until the end?” Luhan thinks he hears an ‘of course’ that’s mixed with a sob and a cough. “That’s all I need.”

Twenty-seven year old Luhan slips the ring onto twenty-three year old Sehun’s ring finger and they both whisper ‘I love you’ to each other. ******************


Two in the morning is when Luhan’s awoken by a loud commotion coming from inside the room. He hears a high pitched beep and several doctors around the bed where Sehun lays. He stands up and tries to see what’s going on. A nurse tells him he has to leave the room. Luhan bangs his hands on the window as he watches them press against Sehun’s chest several times.

Only ten minutes later is when he sees them stop. He see’s them unplug the monitor and shake their heads. Luhan bangs on the window as hard as he can, his screaming waking up the other patients in the wing, several nurses peeking their heads out of their stations to see the scene.

The doctors come out and attempt to calm Luhan. But he pushes at them and runs into the room. His knees hit the floor and he grips onto Sehun’s arm. He screams more and more until his throat feels as if it’s bleeding. Sehun’s skin is cold against his and the ring on his finger shimmers under the bright lights of the room.

At three in the morning is when he signs the last paper. The top of the papers read the date; September eighteenth, two thousand and fourteen. Luhan grips the sheets at the date, knowing it was only a few days away from their sixth year together. ****************
Twenty-seven year old Luhan holds the flowers tightly against his chest as he walks through the grass and to the tall gray grave in the corner of the graveyard. It’s his twelfth bundle of flowers that he’s brought. The ones in his hands are pink in color. They smell of spring and smell of life.

“Happy birthday, babe.”

Luhan places the flowers next to the several others he’s left. The pink mixes with the red roses and the yellow flowers he knows Chanyeol dropped off recently. There’s ones from his parents and ones from Baekhyun and Jongdae too. He thinks they look nice against the boring gray. Luhan even asked if they could change it to blue, Sehun’s favorite color. But they told him no.

Twenty-seven year old Luhan plays with the ring on his finger as he wishes twenty-four year old Sehun happy birthday again, a little louder in case he didn’t hear him the last time. Twenty-seven year old Luhan brushes a few tears away from his eyes as he looks at his husband’s name. Because twenty-seven year old Luhan still loves twenty-four year old Sehun.