Chanel's Fics

10080 Alternative Ending - Baekyeol

10080 ALTERNATIVE ENDING

When morning came, Chanyeol didn’t feel like going back to the city anymore. But he had to. That was where he belonged. He functioned there. That was where his life was. It was where Kyungsoo was. Heaving a sigh, he got out of bed and checked his phone. There were plenty of missed calls from his boyfriend and Chanyeol figured it was about time to call back.

He got an earful when Kyungsoo immediately answered. There was a lot of “Why didn’t you call me back!?” and “You’ve been ignoring my texts!” thrown around, but as the minutes dragged on and Kyungsoo had calmed down, Chanyeol plainly explained to him that he’d be going home that morning. In a huffy voice, Kyungsoo conceded, telling him to do it quickly so they could move on with their lives. Soon after, they hung up.

Chanyeol took off the clothes that made him the man that once belonged to another time and slipped back into the clothes that he arrived at the house in. He fixed his hair and fitted his suit. Soon after, the next time he looked in the mirror, he recognized the miserable fuck that he had been for the last years.

In the KITCHEN, he saw Baekhyun sitting at the table. When he looked up, Chanyeol noticed that his eyes were red. It was obvious that the Baekhyun had been crying, which made Chanyeol’s chest twist in unimaginable ways even more when Baekhyun smiled.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

A silence ensued as Baekhyun glanced down and took the folder that was in front of him and held it out to Chanyeol with both hands as if one hand was not enough to lift the lightless folder. “It’s all signed.”

Chanyeol grimaced as his fingers took the folder from Baekhyun. They were shaking, but Chanyeol tried to control his body. “Thank you.”

Nodding, Baekhyun looked away. “Will you be staying for breakfast?” he asked quietly.

“No…” Chanyeol replied softly. “I have to get back to the office in the early afternoon…I have to leave as soon as possible.”

Without looking up at him, Baekhyun nodded. “I understand.” Giving Chanyeol one last look, Baekhyun smiled until it hurt everything inside of him. “Thank you for everything, Yeol,” he said in a shaky voice.

Chanyeol felt gutted. He wanted to pull Baekhyun out of his chair and kiss him, cry, and tell him whatever he needed to say in order to make himself feel better. He wanted to fix things. He wanted to stay. Chanyeol genuinely wanted to stay. He didn’t want to go back to his job or to his apartment. His heart yearned to stay in the place that it had always called home, but Chanyeol’s body disagreed.

With a stoic face, Chanyeol gulped and nodded, accepting the fact that Baekhyun had yet again looked away. “It’s no problem. Thank you…for the papers.” Knowing how Baekhyun wasn’t going to respond to that, Chanyeol CONTINUED. “Take care, Baek.”

“Bye, Yeol,” Baekhyun said in a whisper like voice. His face was still turned towards the table, refusing to look up.

In a way, Chanyeol was thankful of the fact that Baekhyun was refusing to look up. He would have seen the sorry look on his face. With a heavy heart that didn’t want to be wretched from the where it wanted to be, Chanyeol took a step back before turning on his heels.

For a moment, he stood there, silently wishing and wanting that his fragile husband would look up at him and spare him one last glance as if to sooth his guilty soul. When nothing happened, time seemed to stand still as Chanyeol took the chance and weakly asked, “Where did we go wrong?”

The question came about in a way that Baekhyun never expected it. His eyes immediately darted in Chanyeol’s direction, breaking the giant’s heart. “Would it matter now?”

“It’s just…” Chanyeol paused. “Things happened.”

“I know.”

“And we met other people.”

Baekhyun looked down, biting his lips and fighting the urge to tell Chanyeol that he was wrong. “Yes, we did…”

With a heavy feeling weighing his heart down, Chanyeol asked, “Did we even try?”

“I don’t know.”

“Baek--”

Chanyeol stopped. The ringing of his cellphone filled the space of awkward silence. Immediately, he reached into his pocket, scanning the caller I.D. When he saw that it was Kyungsoo, he felt no hesitation.

He rejected the call.

“Who was that?” Baekhyun asked.

“Nobody.”

Baekhyun gave him a look, but proceeded to accept the obvious lie. “You should get going. You might miss the train.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Chanyeol softly confessed. “I don’t want to leave until I know we tried.”

With his body beginning to feel weaken, Baekhyun’s lips trembled as he shook his head. “I don’t know, giant. I don’t know…”

In that moment, Chanyeol accepted the reality that neither of them was brave enough to admit the truth.

Neither of them did.

Taking in a small breath, Chanyeol nodded. “Okay…” he said with regretful eyes as he began to turn away. “I guess this is good-bye then--”

“Giant?”

With his back turned to his husband, Chanyeol closed his eyes, feeling wretched from hearing the endearment he had grown to know by heart. Slowly, he looked at Baekhyun. “Yes, Baek?”

Despite how it seemed as if standing hurt the fragile male, Baekhyun did so anyways with a small smile on his face. “When I was in college, I met the most pessimistic giant in the world. He told me I was weird, but he ended up asking me out a few weeks later. We dated all the way until graduation and I loved every minute of it.”

With his breath caught in his throat, Chanyeol creased his brows as he waited for Baekhyun’s words to come spilling from his lips.

“We got married soon after graduation. It wasn’t a big ceremony, but nothing can ever take away the moment when I looked down that aisle and saw him--the giant that called me weird--looking at me the way he did. And in that moment, he was more than just my husband. I knew he was my soul mate.”

Drifting his eyes to the ground as he evaded direct EYE CONTACT, Baekhyun took in a shaky breath and continued. “We started off small. Our apartment wasn’t much, but it was nice. He came home every day and I’d always be there to welcome him. I didn’t cherish those moments at the time, but now I do.”

Baekhyun didn’t know when it started, but his eyes began to burn. “But things changed gradually. It’s hard to tell you when we started growing apart, but we did…”

Breaking from the forces that held him stationed away, Chanyeol took a step forward towards Baekhyun. And then another. “Baekhyun…”

It wasn’t until Chanyeol hesitantly placed his hands on Baekhyun’s weak shoulders that the smaller male looked up at him, showing him his wet eyes. The sight was painful to see and Chanyeol couldn’t escape from feeling sick as he watched Baekhyun to muster up the strength to CONTINUE smiling.

“It has been years, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said in a weary voice. “It has been years since I’ve seen the giant that called me weird. And it has been years since I’ve seen the giant that looked at me like I was his world. My giant left me and that’s why I haven’t seen him.”

With a shaking hand, Chanyeol ran his thumb across Baekhyun’s face, gently wiping the small droplets of tears away.

“But I saw glimpses of him this week,” Baekhyun said with a small that broke Chanyeol to pieces. “I saw him in the moments when he asked me if I was alright. I saw him when he smiled at me during board game night. And when I was showing him my work, I saw him there, too…”

“Don’t cry…”

“After a time of seeing him here and there, I realized that he was never really gone,” Baekhyun said, slowly raising his hands and holding onto Chanyeol’s. “I might be delusional. It might just be my medication. Perhaps I’m hallucinating, but when saw him…I realized that my giant never left. He was just hiding.”

Chanyeol wasn’t aware of the tiny drops of water falling from his eyes, but Baekhyun was. Lifting his hand, he wiped Chanyeol’s tears away just as the giant did to him. “Chanyeol, people grow, people move apart, and people lose one another, but there are things that will never change. Some things will stay as it is on the inside no matter how much it seems the outside has morphed into something else.”

For a moment, Baekhyun went silent, holding Chanyeol’s face as he had when they first danced at their wedding--soft and gentle. Then, for the first time in so long, he opened his lips, caressing the words as they left his mouth.

“I love you…”

Chanyeol looked at him with hurt eyes.

“I have loved you since the moment you gathered up the courage to ask me if you were allowed to date me,” Baekhyun recalled, laughing at the memory. “I have loved you even in the moments when we weren’t even sure if we could make the rent. All this time, despite everything, I have loved you, and the only thing I regret is not telling you just how much I do.”

Reluctantly, Baekhyun began to let go. “It may be too late, but my time is running out.”

Chanyeol’s hold on Baekhyun’s face tightened as he felt his husband begin to release him. “What’re you talking about? What time?”

Baekhyun ignored the question. “It’s now or never for me,” he said quietly, “so have I to say it before I can’t. I love you. I still love you. Nothing in that aspect has changed for me, Chanyeol. You’re still my giant and I will never find it in me to love you any less.”

Finally breaking eye contact, Baekhyun glanced away and began to pry Chanyeol’s hands off of him. “I want you to stay,” he confessed in a hoarse voice. “I want you to stay with me, but you can’t. You should go, giant. I’m leaving soon and I don’t want you to be here to see me go. I don’t want to leave you all alone because I know how badly it hurts to be all by yourself.”

Lost, Chanyeol tried to keep his hold, but despite Baekhyun’s weakness, he was able to push Chanyeol away.

“Baekhyun, what do you mean you’re leaving? Where?”

Closing his eyes, Baekhyun held his breath as a small wave of pain came over him. “I…I can’t tell you. I don’t want to…” he said as he slowly took a seat.

“Baek--”

“I’m okay…”

“No, you’re not!” Chanyeol argued. “You’re sick. Something’s wrong with you.”

“I’ll be fine. I just need my medicine. That’s all.”

“Your medication doesn’t help you!” Chanyeol said angrily. “You haven’t gotten any better since I’ve been here.”

“My medication isn’t to cure the pain,” Baekhyun said faintly, “it’s to ease it...”

Looking down at the male, Chanyeol’s fists curled. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

Baekhyun nodded slightly. “Yes…”

“Why can’t you just say it?”

Dragging his eyes down, Baekhyun looked away. It then occurred to Chanyeol that they were back to the way they were just a few moments before.

“I don’t want to say it, because unlike me, you have a life,” Baekhyun said, “and it’s too late for me to take you away from it. It’s better this way.”

“Baek--”

“You asked me if we tried, giant,” Baekhyun said as his voice grew weaker and weaker. “You asked me if we tried and I said I didn’t know. But just a few moments ago, I did. I tried. I told you how I much I still loved you, and that, Chanyeol, that was me trying.”

Before Chanyeol could say another word, his phone rang once again with Kyungsoo’s name flashing on the screen. Baekhyun lifted his eyes up at him and Chanyeol met his gaze.

Like a leaf in motionless water, they were afloat, but not progressing in any direction. And that was when Chanyeol knew that it was time to go. Although he worried for Baekhyun’s health and for the secret he refused to tell, Chanyeol backed away.

Just as Kyungsoo was calling him, his life beyond that house was pulling for his return. He faced conflict within himself about which decision to make, but with a reluctant turn of his heel, he made his choice. Gripping the bag in his hand, Chanyeol spared Baekhyun one last glance.

“I guess this is good-bye…”

“Yes…”

Then Chanyeol tore his eyes away.

“Good-bye, Baek…”

-

-

When Chanyeol returned back to his apartment, it was like he returned back another man. It was funny to him how one week made him despise all he had been for the last two years and what he had done. Kyungsoo greeted him happily, but Chanyeol found that it hurt to smile. He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to cry because then his thoughts would go right back to Baekhyun. Instead, he forced his body to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo.

-

-

Four months had gone by and Chanyeol still felt like he was floating right on by life. Fall was in the midst—perhaps in its end—and the colors of the trees had changed. Unlike the trees, however, Chanyeol’s feelings remained static. And despite the fact that time had moved forward, he was still stuck in moment when Baekhyun held his face as he told him he still loved him despite everything.

-

-

Months had gone by, but Chanyeol never forgot. Instead of using the time to move on and forget, he found himself using it contemplate everything. He wasn’t aware just how much time had passed, but when a knock came at his door with news of his soon-to-be ex-husband, he realized he wasted too much.

The very next day after receiving the visit from Luna, who was apparently Baekhyun’s caretaker, Chanyeol packed his bags and left the apartment he shared with Kyungsoo. The man wasn’t pleased by his brash decision and was left confused as to why he was being left.

Kyungsoo’s reaction was angry at first. He screamed at Chanyeol’s stupidity and impulsiveness, and then he yelled, cursing everything in sight and attacking Baekhyun himself. Chanyeol paid him no mind, but CONTINUEDto pack.

The small male was hysterical with every bag Chanyeol filled. His confusion was mixed with anger as he questioned what Baekhyun had done to lure Chanyeol back. It never occurred to him to see himself as the third wheel in the picture. To him, he never stole Chanyeol away. He merely picked up the pieces that Baekhyun left.

Anger gradually turned into desperate pleas of begging the moment Chanyeol began putting the bags into a cab. Time and time again, Chanyeol apologized, but he knew it would never help.

-

-

Chanyeol arrived at the house, but it felt cold to him unlike before. It seemed as though there was no longer life that kept the house alive and Chanyeol knew exactly why.

He knocked on the door and Luna let him in.

Without an exchange of words, she led him up the stairs. For the first time in so long, he opened his eyes and saw the house as his home.

Silently, they walked to the master bedroom. Just before the door, Luna stopped and smiled at him, indicating that she would not go any further.

Stepping forward, Chanyeol turned the door knob and entered.

“Baek?”

Chanyeol faintly heard a weak gasp and then a quiet, strained voice say;

“You came back… My giant came back…”