Chanel's Fics

Six Degrees of Separation - Xiuhan

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

Summary: "No one has ever died for love"

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First ;

First, you think the worst is a broken heart.

It's not the absence of that person what kills you, it's the memories. The memories so attached to the walls, to the sofa, to your bed, the memories that are attached to your heart and mind that slowly, slowly and quietly, shatter your heart into smaller pieces.

Luhan doesn't understand this, because everytime, everyday, second after second, he is sleeping. The CURTAINS are closed, he doesn't want the sun to bother him. In the kitchen, the leftovers stink and the dirty plates flood the sink. In the living room, the photos are crushed and the broken glass is sparsed on the carpet.

His life, along with his APARTMENT, are trapped in time. Unable to move forward or go back.

Luhan doesn't realized that he is slowly dying, slowly losing the desire to live.

In his bedroom, his clothes are all over the floor and the bed is always undone, next to him, over the drawer, there's a picture.

It's painful, but it's necessary.

What's gonna kill you is the second part

It's been a month since Minseok walked away from him, leaving everything about them behind. His stuff are still in their apartment because the smaller didn't want to take anything that can remind him of Luhan.

They met in one of their classes. They fell in love at first sight. When Luhan confessed his undying love to him, Minseok cried and accepted him with open arms. Luhan hugged him and kissed him, without thinking about the consequences, without thinking of what would the others say.

It didn't matter, what mattered was the fact that he was there and Minseok was there with him, accepting everything.

Their first date was at the cinema, when Minseok begged him to watch "Martyrs" and after just half and hour, they were too scared of the movie that they left the room and they went to a cozy coffee-bar.

They were happy, so fucking happy. They were a match made in heaven, they were supposed to remain together forever on Earth. They were perfect.

They were supposed to be happy, have kids, grow old together, see their kids become adults. They were supposed to go to Disneyland together, travel to Greek, sing in one of those Mexican pubs. They were supposed to love each other everynight and everyday.

And the third, is when your world splits down the middle

February arrives. It's been three months without sweet mornings and hot nights, three months without Minseok and without a reason to live. He doesn't use his phone anymore, he doesn't have a job to maintain, he doesn't have a reason to get up from bed.

So he doesn't.

His parents call him more than before and his sister is always sending him messages via KKT, Luhan knows they don't trust in him. He is not sure, though, if he should be grateful or ask them to leave him alone.

His friends arrive at his apartment at least once a day, to check him and to verify that his body is not hanging up from the ceiling. They visit him, they talk to him, tell him jokes and try to take him out of the four walls he has chained himself.

All of them talk about the weather, Luhan, it's sunny outside, you should go out! -No.

His sister talks about visiting them, Luhan, mom wants to see you, why don't you visit us? -No.

His friends talk about going on a trip to the mountains, Luhan, they say this is the best time to go and skying -No.

No, no, no.

They talk about their past love experiences, they say he is going to get better, nothing last forever Luhan.

"No one has ever died for love"

It's almost funny, Luhan almost feels like laughing like crazy because it's almost too damn funny.

Just that it's not.

And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself

Luhan thinks that the worst already passed when May arrives (he sleeps all March because it hurts too much) and new friends arrive with it.

Luhan is not longer sad, he doesn't sleep that much anymore and when his new friends INVITE him to have a few drinks, he says yes. Sometimes, Luhan is too focused into listening to a joke that he doesn't realize he is laughing, along with his friends. Some nights, a casual stranger walks to him and tries to hit on him, tries to get something more and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, everything is going good and that he is doing it good.

He keeps breathing for a reason, right?

His apartment is not longer dirty, the KITCHEN, now, is white and bright, his dirty clothes are at some laundry-service and he not longer spends a day without taking a shower. He has cut his hair, bought new clothes and shaved his beard and he doesn't look like a homeless anymore.

But Minseok's stuff remain untouched in his apartment and Luhan doesn't try -not a SINGLE time- to move them or tossing them away. He is doing good and he doesn't lose the faith, that maybe one day, Minseok might return.

Yeah, Luhan is definetely doing good.

Fifth, you see them out with someone else

Luhan heard of it because Huang Zitao can not keep a secret and Byun Baekhyun is #teamMinseok and he hates Luhan like rats hate snakes.

"He is so tall and so handsome, gege. So muscular and masculine"

who?

"Minseok is smiling again, whenever he is around, Minseok blushes, he is so cute"

what?

"He treats Minseok-gege like porcelain, I'm so jealous. You should've see him, such a prince. Always asking Minseok if he is okay or if he needs something."

why?

"He took Minseok to China, I've never seen gege so happy before-"

where?

"Minseok said yes! Yifan-gege told me yesterday that he proposed to Minseok and he said yes!"

Are-

"-They are going to get married on August! Oh my god gege!"

-

Baekhyun and Zitao are happy for Minseok. Wu Yifan seems to be the prince every girl (or boys) is waiting for.

According to Kim Jongdae, Minseok's parents are going to move to China with them once Minseok and Yifan are married.

Luhan feels a hand squeezing his throat, his eyes burn and his stomach shrinks and he feels sick. He tries to laugh with them, but soon, the smile in his friend's face turns into a worried face and this, just CONFIRMS him that yes, his face is soaked with tears and he feels the need to leave, but he doesn't.

"So is Minseok happy?" his voice is trembling when he talks and he doesn't restrain himself anymore. He falls and he does his best to wipe the tears with his sleeves, but the tears are increasing and he can't talk because his throat burns and the students are starting to look at him.

And Luhan realizes that he is not doing it so good.

And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little

Luhan is not stupid, he is pretty smart for his age. He should've known better, his friends whisper behind his back. It's late, other friends whisper. Luhan, please, stop, Minseok whispers at the phone. Luhan is so stupid, so stupid, his sister whispers to her friend, trying not to be to harsh because his brother is slowly dying.

Not that someone cares, they all know.

Luhan should've thought twice before sleeping with Oh Sehun.