Mikaal

47: Mikaal

Dalia parted her diary about a third of the way then flicked through the pages, glancing at the dates as she moved forwards in time. She scrunched her face.

Blake, Blake, and more Blake...

"Hmm..." she murmured aloud, looking up for a moment at a realisation—his name no longer hurt her. Annoyance still lingered to be reminded of him, but the pain, the deep scars she thought were etched in her soul had diluted in the background into almost indifference. Dalia smiled. 'So Mikaal was good for something,' she thought.

Remembering her task at hand, she picked up her phone and checked the date of the voicemail—end of April last year.

She thumbed further ahead until she found the word 'March' and turned the pages, one at a time. Her heart picked up speed in anticipation although she didn't know what she was even looking for. How she and Mikaal had met perhaps? What had he told her? After a maths lecture, was it?

Her eyes caught sight of the words 'Tim Tam Slam'. She checked the date—end of March last year, a couple of months after Blake had left her. About to skip forward, her fingers lingered stubbornly, suddenly lethargic.

'Read it,' a voice inside her head urged, the same internal voice she had battled with since meeting Mikaal again—now almost three months ago.

Dalia turned back one page to where the entry began.

I had the most amazing day! Well, it was more-so an amazing morning that spilled over into my day. Why, you ask? Well, it was all thanks to—

"What?" Dalia stopped, her eyes wide with surprise. Did she go back too far? She picked up the sheet of lined paper and rubbed the textured surface between her thumb and forefinger—it was only one page. She flipped the page back and forth—it was the same entry. Creases formed between her brows as she re-read the opening sentence scrawled in fading blue ink.

"No, " she said aloud and shook her head. 'My eyes must be lying.' Yet there it was, in plain view—his name...

Her chest heaved, up and down. 'Just keep reading...'

...We caught up at Reid Cafe. Beforehand, all he told me was that it would be the perfect activity to produce those happy hormones—what are they called again, endorphins? So it could be a ritual I could start, a retreat from sad experiences.

He was surprised I'd never heard of it before—it's this thing called the 'Tim Tam Slam', where you bite off the end of a Tim Tam and...

Dalia's heart thumped, louder, harder, ready to leap out of her as she read to the end. She re-read the entire journal entry, triple checking the date and the first sentence.

"How?" she asked the still room, as if an answer might echo back. Her head spun, searching for an explanation.

Dalia dropped the book from her trembling hands and got up. She walked out of her room and paced the empty living room, around and around in a daze. She poured a glass of water, sat at the dining table and holding the smooth surface with both hands, she took long, slow sips. Slowly, the icy-cold, tasteless liquid calmed her heightened senses and her breathing steadied.

Like a honey-bee to a succulent flower nectar, she felt a pull, coaxing her back to the journal. Her feelings were a mix of trepidation yet determination.

Dalia picked up her old diary that suddenly weighed a tonne and this time, she sat at her new desk. Her hands shook as she parted the book at the halfway mark. Her fingers faltered at the worn, dog-eared corners. Forcefully, she turned the pages, her eyes searching for something it was afraid to find.

The word 'boxing' caught her eyes this time, a sick feeling beginning in the pit of her stomach as she scanned backwards and read the journal entry from the start:

Man, I don't know what to say about this guy. We've known each other for only a month or so, and yes, we're only friends but... I don't know... We just clicked instantly. And sometimes, I feel like there's something more...

And it's SO different to Blake. It's 'easy' being with him. He just seems to get me, even while I don't even get myself sometimes. I feel like I'm understanding myself more and more through our friendship.

Like today, he surprised me with another activity that just felt so so good—boxing!!! It wasn't easy, but he was SO right about how it would make me feel like I'm on top of the world! It felt sooooo awesome pounding that punching bag—imagining Blake's face on it. I almost felt sorry for the bag—almost. But seeing—

"Oh my God!" The name again, the name that shouldn't be there—rewriting history...

Her hands were frantic this time, flicking the pages forwards, now remembering his face the times they had caught up just months ago, remembering his odd expression she had not completely understood at the time.

Hiking at Bibbulman Track...

High Performance Driving Course...

"No, no, no!" It all made sense, yet it made no sense, seeing his name again and again in place of another name.

All these activities that Simon had organised to help her get over Blake—her memories had been a lie.

Every single one of them was associated with Mikaal...

---

**drum roll**

SO close, we are so so close to the end now. A few days ago, I realised that I released Mikaal exactly a year ago! So crazy, the time that's passed and being here, so close to finishing my first ever novel... It feels great :) sharing this moment with you.

Anyway, back to writing for me so I stay on schedule. Until next week, keep those comments and votes coming! They truly mean a lot! <3

-Noelle