suicidal thoughts

confession

"c'mon slow poke Ashton is waiting!!" Luke laughs dragging me away from my locker

"I'm coming I'm coming!" I nervously laugh

" you alright? you seem.. out of it"

"yeah yeah I'm fine. I just gotta tell you guys something.. "

"what is it?"

"I'll tell you when we get to Ashton's"

-

-

-

-

we all ran through the door dropping our stuff and hoping on the couch.

"god I hate school" Michael muffles

"tell me about it" I roll my eyes at the thought.

"Scarlett you told me you had to tell us something" Luke said

"what is it?" Ashton turned his attention to me.

I stood up from the couch, nervous as ever.

well here goes nothing.

"ok well I've know you guys for about 3 weeks and its been the best 3 weeks of my life" I smile "but there's some stuff I haven't told you.. like I said I've only know you guys for 3 weeks but I know I can trust you with my life.. but you don't know much about my life I guess.. you guys have seen me at one of my worst points and i bet you guys wanna know why.. why am I so sad sometimes. ok well it all started when I was 13 years old. My mom My Aunt Jen and I were coming home from the store and we were all having a good time until the next thing I know I'm screaming 'Mom watch out!' and a-a car was" I took a break to wipe my tears "a car was flipping in our direction. my mom tried to get out of the way but it was to late. it landed on the first half of the car. luckily I was in the back but my mom and my aunt... they were crushed. I didn't know what to do! I screamed and cried for help for what seems like forever!" Luke got up from his seat and hugged me

"you don't have to keep going if you don't want to"

"I can do it" he nodded and sat back down wiping his own tears.

"they were pronounced dead at the scene. once my dad got there he snap he started to yell at me and how it was my fault. I didn't know what to do my dad and I were so close! that night he got super drunk. he barged into my room and pulled me out of bed. he started to punch and kick me over and over until some how I got him to leave."

"I wanna kill that guy " Michael yelled

"it's ok Mickey " I told him "at school I wasn't really the girl to talk to no one was really my friend. at first I wasn't picked on to my face but more behind my back. until 8th grade people just turned so.. mean I started to be called fat, ugly, a whore blah blah.. I didn't know what to do I was so alone not even my own dad liked me!" I cried "so I took it out on my self. I started to self harm. I would do anything for a blade. I even stole a hand sharpener from one of my teachers.. about freshman year was when I started to get physically bullied. people treated me like trash and I didn't even try to stand up for myself I just believed what they said. I fell into deeper depression and self harmed everyday. maybe even twice a day. then came the voices. they come into my mind say I deserve this and keep going until I give in. so in the end no it hasn't gotten better just yet but I have you guys and I have something to smile about and I can't thank you enough" I say running to them about to break down. they all stand up creating a group hug "you guys are all I have please don't ever leave me" I cry

"were never gonna leave. not even if you want us too" Michael said

"I never want you too" I wipe my tears. I take a minute to look at the boys. they all have red eyes and tear streaks down their face "why were you guys crying"

"we hate seeing you upset!" Calum whimpered a few tears falling down his cheeks

"well I hate seeing you guys upset " I look at the crying boys causing me to cry even more

"stop crying!!" Michael yells

"you stop crying!"

"I can't if you keep crying!"

"look let's just all say a joke or something to cheer us up" Luke spoke

"I lost my teddy bear can I sleep with you?" I say laughing at my own pick up line. the boys crack a smile.

"keep going" Ashton said

"your shoes are cute. like you.. I lost my number can I have yours?"

the boys start to giggle

"ok I'm feeling better" Calum smiles

" me too" I grin

I love this guys. with all my heart.

____________________

happy ending ;) love u -m