Satin
We had made it home from the party and things were awkward. I could tell Jahseh was really upset about what Ski said. As he should be. Ski was being immature about everything. Instead of treating his brother like shit and starting fights with him all the time, he could've been talking to him about how he felt. He could've been trying to guide Jah into a better light so he won't feel the need to fight all the time. He was only adding onto what the world had already inflicted on Jah.
We went inside and went our separate ways. I took my shower before I got ready to sleep as I listened to the rain. It was getting heavier and I wondered what natural disaster were we about to experience. I heard the front door open and close. I looked out my window to see Jahseh walking down the road aimlessly in new clothes. He wore a black hoodie and black sweats with this hood pulled over his head. I could tell it was him by his walk. I rushed and put a hoodie over my tank top and slipped into some shoes. Leaving, I followed behind close enough to see him but far enough to be undetected. He walked slow in the rain and I contemplated just grabbing him and going back home. I didn't though as I was anxious to see what possessed him to come out in this weather. We walked for a while and just when I was about to call his name he turned into a graveyard. I saw him take his hands out his pockets and noticed he was holding something. It was dark but the rain made it's matte finish glisten. I squinted my eyes to see it better but it did no justice. He pushed through the large gates and wandered through the graves. I followed closer and hid behind a tall monument on one of the graves. I could hear him talking as he slowly spun in a circle with his hands outs.
" I'm ready! " he yelled out laughing. Whatever he had in his hand waved around with water bouncing off it. I moved closer to hear him better.
" I'm King of the Dead, I control my death. " he said sadly with a smile on his face. I'd never seen him smile so genuine. Not when he was pretending to be happy, not when he was with me, not even when he was with Stokes. My eyes never left him as he staggered through the graves. I continued to get closer every time he moved away.
" I'm ready to be a star. " he smiled looking up at the sky as rain poured down on him. We were both drenched. The wind swirled around us causing leaves to kick up. It pushed me a little. He held what I learned now to be a gun up to his head and turned his back to me.
" I'm ready to be a star! " he yelled laughing and crying at the same time. My heart started to beat faster as I stepped from behind the headstone. I reached my arm out for him seeing him move his finger to the trigger.
" Jahseh! " I croaked out on the verge of tears. He turned his head to the side a little seeing me. He pulled the trigger before I could grab him and I turned my head feeling my heart stop.
Nothing happened. There was no shot. There was no blood. He was still standing in front of me perfectly untouched. I turned back to him seeing he looked disappointed. How could he do that? How could he be prepared to kill him self right in front of my eyes with no remorse? It was selfish and just plain fucked up. I broke out crying the ugliest cry. I grabbed him roughly pulling him into my arms. The soaked fabric of his hoodie was balled up in my palms as I held onto him crying. We looked like two psychos standing in a graveyard while rain poured down on us crying. Which was fitting. He didn't touch me. He dropped his gun and it fired off making me jump as I held him.
" Fuck. " he mumbled sadly. I looked up at him confused. Beads of water on my curly lashes made them droop a little. I watched his eyes and he looked so hurt that the bullet wasn't in the barrel to kill him.
" How could you?! " I screamed crying pushing him and beating on his chest. My adrenaline was racing through my body and I didn't know how to feel. He could've been gone at the hands of himself and I would've witnessed it. I was so hurt being that I cared about him so much. This was who I needed to be with and he could've been gone within the blink of an eye. He grabbed my wrist and held them to his chest.
" What do you expect me to do?! " he yelled in my face with a shaky voice. I stared up at him as my chest heaved up and down from my emotions being scattered all over the place. I sucked in air and let it out feeling warm tears turn cold as they rolled now my cheeks. I didn't speak, I couldn't.
" I'm ready to die Satin, are you? I'd rather die than be alive in this life. " he whispered the last part letting me go. It broke my heart to hear him talk like that. I knew it broke his that he didn't execute his death like he thought it would. It's not fair to neither of us. I didn't want him dead and his didn't want to be alive.
" Claim it. It's not your time Jahseh. " I cried shaking my head. I looked down at our muddy shoes and looked back up at him.
" You can't leave me by myself. " I said barely above a whisper. I wouldn't be able to function if the only person that ever came close to understanding me and the only person I could relate to wasn't here with me. I'd go mad. Jah didn't say anything. He only nodded very childlike and looked down embarrassed. Placing my hand under his chin I made him look at me. We stared at each other for a while before we both leaned in. His lips melted into mine as lightening struck and thunder clapped around us. I was in bliss. The way his soft lips felt on mine was foreign to me but I loved it. I pulled away staring at him with a smile. I took his hand in mind after I bent down to pick up his gun. He took the heavy metal from my hands and tucked it. We started back home hand in hand, rain still beating down on us.
This chapter mad short but it's for a reason. Next chapter will be way longer and more detailed. I'm seeing my numbers going up so I'm assuming y'all enjoying? I hope y'all are but ANYWHO. Y'all see Ski getting skinny again😭
