I know this seems long for an A/N but please read it, it's to do with the next few chapters.
Okay, so lots of you, all of you, have commented on chapter 20 saying making it happier or words to that effect. I'm trying to make it happier, I really am, but the thing it I find making things happy really hard and I guess I just wanted to tell you all why.
So for the past 11 years of my life I have been bullied. I know that everyone gets bullied at some point in their life, and some say it's part of growing up, but it really hurts. It really hurts to be told that I'm worthless, ugly, fat, disgusting, germy, need to be locked up and that I should kill myself.
At first I didn't understand why people would sya those things to me, but the more they were said, the more I believed them. I'm not at the point where I truely hate myself, I hate every millimetre of my body, so I completely agree with people when they tell me that they hate me.
I have been diagonsed with chronic anxiety and depression, although the intensity of my depression hasn't yet been assesed. I've been self-harming for the last 7 months, and I'm 100% addicted. I'm also highly suicidal and have attempted suicide once.
My life has become so dark that I can't even imagine happiness or what's it's like. I can't write about something that I can't imagine and that's why the next few chapters are going to take me longer to write. For the story to work out, they need to be happy. I keep telling myslef that so I make them happy, but I just find it nearly impossible to write something happy.
They will be happy but they will just take longer to write. I hope you can all understand that.
Nothing on this page is fiction, it's all real life, my life. If you don't believe it then that's fine, but this is the truth and why I find it so difficult to write happy things.
I'm not looking for attention, that's the last thing I want, I just wanted you all to understand why these next few chapters will take longer to write.
Emily xxx
YOU ARE READING
I'll Look After You (1D FanFic)
FanfictionKatie Tomlinson is a delinquent. She skips school, drinks alcohol, stays out late, smokes and all because of how one boy made her feel. When her mother sends her packing to live with her brother Louis in London, how will Katie cope without her best...
