Jay x Daniel - You Came With the Spring

Chapter 12: dark and light (Jay)

Jay always considered himself fine. No one needed to understand who he was, or what he wanted. He didn't need any one to reach out to him. He liked his place in the dark. In the shadow.

It was better when no one understood him. It was calming, secure, safe. Because that's all he's known - for years.

But. . .once he'd tasted that light. That lost, desperate part of him grabbed hold. Leeching off that warmth and sucking away the purity.

He didn't want to hurt Daniel, to change him. He wanted to keep him unscathed, pristine. And to do that, there was no way that Jay could be anywhere nearby. Rumors and vicious lies would follow. . . And Jay just. . .

. . .couldn't do that.

Yet. . .that dark part of him - the part that tasted the light - still yearned for something sweet. To hear Daniel's soothing voice - to touch his soft skin - to taste his damned, delicious lips. To take every bit - all for himself.

It hurt, thinking of anyone wrapping their arms around Daniel. It hurt the most, imagining someone being the spark in his eyes or the smile in his laugh. For him to love anyone besides Jay. . .it. . .

No.

The blonde put his face in his hands, body still hot from the bath. He closed his eyes tight.

Stop.

Just. . .stop.

He arched his neck to the side, smiling in a bittersweet grimace. The robe fell off his shoulders and he stepped in front of the mirror, the cold air like a ghostly breath against his skin.

"Young Master, are you prepared for your treatment? It's been three days," the butler called from behind the door with a few swift knocks. Without another word the old man saunters in with a small trail of people. "Ah, wonderful, Young Master. . . ! I see you've already prepared."

Jay watches himself in the mirror as the nurses set up their cases of equipment. Pulling out little vials and various ointments.

The boy inspected his body, reflecting back. . .no change. No change for the better.

His chest tightens.

"Would you open your mouth, please?" The nurse says as she measures two liquids.

Jay obeys and swallows the bitter taste.

Cold, gloved hands slide across his skin, working in the ointments and salves.

"We are sure it's going to work this time," the butler says promptly, standing to the side as the nurses do their work. "We've consulted many specialists and they are quite confident."

Jay closes his eyes, drowning out the old man's feigned optimism as he imagines he was somewhere far away. . . The smell of pine reaches his nose and suddenly he could almost taste Daniel on his tongue. His sweet sighs, deep breathes, fluttering eyes: everything swirled behind his vision. . .

A hand moves to brush away his hair and he flinches, grabbing the nurses hand in a firm grip. The woman squeaks in alarm, trying to move away but locked in place. She shivers. "I- I am so sorry, Sir. . .but we need to treat your most sensitive area to stop the spread. . . We cannot leave it alone. . . !"

Jay let's the woman go, his heart slamming against his chest.

His palms sweat and he grits his teeth.

He stares, eyes wandering over his sick, disgusting body. . .before landing on his face, covered and hidden away.

His hand moves slow and pulls his hair away. He looks straight into his cold blue eyes before scanning his face. A warm arm rests on the boy's shoulders and the butler nods, grim.

"It seems it really has gotten worse in these last few days."

Jay casts away his eyes, face burning red. His stomach boils and he blinks his eyes.

Really, how can something so disgusting, come close to someone so pure?

Authors Note:

Double update {;
And yes, suffer my babes. Don't hate on me ♡