Sanders Sides One-Shots

When I was your man (Prinxiety)

Bear with me guys, I have to wait for three hours at the airport completely alone. So o wrote this one-shot no one asked for to pass time. I'm sorry if it's really really angsty.

ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION!!!
Don't plat the song until you see: _(._.)_ or it will ruin the effect!

On to the story.

I walk on the stage almost hesitantly. I dry a tear off of my face and take a deep breath; it was my fault after all. If only I wasn't so blind, if only I saw how the way I acted bothered him now I wouldn't be here crying over the fact that he found someone better than me.

I still couldn't believe I've let him slip through my hands.

I was so scared and anxious about him finding someone else or him cheating on me, that not only did I not take the time to enjoy our relationship, but I even took it to an end without realizing it.

And now that everything was over I was in an empty theatre crying over the fact that he got over our time together, with the now muffled music coming from the gym.

I already hated the fact that Patton convinced me to come to the prom, but finding Roman there with someone else was... excruciating.

_(._.)_

Then a song started playing, and even if muffled I heard it loud and clear and I immediately recognized it. It was like the universe was mocking me, giving a perfectly fitting soundtrack for the night I was having.
But I deserved it, I knew I did. So I just started singing along.

"Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now.
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same..."

Flash of the times we spent the night together flashes through my eyes, as I remembered the cold mattress I've been sleeping on this past few days. All of the time we sang our favorite songs at the top of our lungs while driving around the city with no destination. And then the pain I felt in my chest every time in the last months someone mentioned his name in a conversation. One flashback, one more crack in my heart.

"...too young, too dumb to realize,
That I should have bought you flowers..."

Immediately all of the time I refused to hold his hand in public or to show how much I loved him flashed through my mind making my voice crack and my throat tighten.

I was such an idiot. I should have taken him to all the parties I could find but I didn't like crowded places. At the same time I didn't want him to go without me, though, because what if he found someone better? And yet not one time he got angry. Not even once.
But now he found someone else to dance with. To be with.

"...my pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways,
Caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life.
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh oh..."

And it was true. There was no way of making this right. I could just see it in his eyes, that day, the exact moment when those strangled, whispered words came out his mouth: "Y-you... You don't trust me."

And being the fucking coward that I am, I didn't even had the guts to tell him that I did trust him. That I was just so goddamn scared of being left alone. And look at me now: completely and utterly alone, in an empty theatre holding back tears to keep singing and trying not to have a panic attack.

I was pathetic. There, crying over myself while the love of my life was dancing with another man.

I should have made it right. I should have suck it up and be the boyfriend he deserved to have. But I didn't. I didn't listen to anyone and kept acting the same way, thinking it would work. But I was so fucking wrong. And now it was too late to try and apologize. I just fucking knew it was.

"...I hope he buys you flowers,
I hope he holds your hand,
Give you all his hours, when he has the chance.
Take you to every party, cause I remember how much you love to dance.
Do all the things I should have done, when I was your man."

And I actually did hope that that Michael treated him like a prince. Because he deserved it. He deserved so fucking much.

As the music faded away, my legs gave out, and I fell to my knees, the weight of the world falling on my shoulders.

God, what have I done?