Before My Eyes

Dorm 227

The winding wooden staircase creaks as I tiptoe towards my dorm. There are two floors of girls' rooms but I know the path and where to step so I don't wake anyone up.

I reach the top finally, and walk along the moonlit corridor until I reach number 227. As I open the door, a yawn escapes me and I realise I haven't had a decent night's sleep in what feels like forever.

With my outstretched hand,I fumble to my bed. I've got pretty good at finding my way in the dark. Suddenly, I touch something.

'Aaaah fuck!' I scream and jump away.

'Whats going on?' Alex groans in her sleep. 'There's something...' I begin to say but I'm interrupted by a low laugh. As my eyes adjust to the dark, a boy-shaped silhouette forms on my bed. As I step closer I find a part is myself wishing it's Raff. I quickly switch on the lights, and thank God I didn't ask if it was him in my blinded state.

'Leviiiii!' I jump onto the bed and hug him. I hadn't realised just how much I'd missed his freckled face. Alex wakes up at my shout and groans, turning over in her bed. Her eyes widen when she sees Levi's figure, obviously blurred in her vision.

'Mali! I told you to stop bringing boys into our room.' She's wide awake now and having rubbed her eyes, fiddles around for her glasses. As soon as she puts them on, she recognises Levi.

'Oh, it's Levi. Hey.' She sighs, drops her head back on her pillow and pulls a sleeping mask over her eyes. 'Night,' she mumbles, her sound half muffled as she turns onto her side.

'When did you get back?' We're sitting opposite eachother, cross-legged.

'About an hour ago, where have you been? I've been looking all over school for you. Isn't it quite late for a Sunday, Maz?'

I dodge his questioning; I know what he'd say, so I stick with: 'Ah nothing much, anyway, tell me about your holiday! You did go with your dad, right?'

'Yeah, and his new girlfriend. Turns out he's not so much of a dick after all.' He's fiddling with the end of his sleeve, his face concentrated into a frown.

I don't reply to what he says - his dad will unconditionally be a dick. My voice cuts into the thin silence between us.

I clear my throat. 'Anything else happen?'

A small smile creeps onto his lips and he's about to speak, when Alex interrupts us.

'Guys can you please go somewhere else? I really need to sleep.' She's leaning on her bent elbow, her pale face hidden behind brushed locks. Her eye mask is sloping diagonally over her forehead onto her left cheek.

I blow Alex a kiss, even though I know she can't see and scramble onto the roof with Levi.

'I met someone, yeah? So that's what happened. Oh and I lost my fucking virginity! I'm a man now!' We both start laughing, and the slither of space separating us disappears as I lay my head on his shoulder. 'I'm so glad you decided to come back today, I really needed you.'

We sit like this for a long time, just looking into the black night, until he jerks back and turns to face me. A grin spreads wide across his freckled face.

'And what's happening with you and Raffi, eh?!'

Shiiiit. I force a smile back and pray he doesn't see through it. The last time I saw Levi was when Raff and I were together. I have to play this well.

'Jeeeeez it's been long since I last saw you. We ended things straight after summer began.' I try as hard as I can to give my best no-biggie tone.

'Seriously? What happened?' His classic Levi smile has sloped into a look of concern, maybe even sadness.

I know I shouldn't lie to him. He's my best friend and will definitely find out one day - everyone will, but I just can't seem to push the truth past my lips.

'It was summer, Leev! Year 11 summer. You think I want to be tied down to one guy for ten weeks?' I manage to break through my clenched smile and laugh. Thankfully he joins me.

'Oh yeah, forgot I was talking to Mali Blake.'

I feel a sharp surge of relief flood my body while we resume our previous position. I can't help but feel it, knowing my excuse wasn't as transparent as I had thought.

It isn't a complete lie, I remind myself. I did want to get with other people, I guess, but it wasn't until half way through summer that I ended things with Raff, not at the beginning.

I know if I'm ever going to tell anyone the reason, Levi's the one to go to, but not now. And not soon either.

We stay up on the roof, shivering under a bundle of duvet and sharing a roll-up, until I feel my eyelids slowly drooping.