The slam of the door behind you echoes throughout the house, your pounding feet matching the loud pounding of your heart against your rib cage.The loud sounds are satisfying, even if the cause if your anger isn't here.
Three years.Three years together, and this is how it ends.
Your chest is heaving with every angry breath, and you're trying to keep your cool enough not to cry, not to explode with emotion, but it's no fucking use.You can feel your blood boiling, your hands starting to shake you don't think you've ever been so angry in your life.
You rip open the closet door, pulling out your large suitcase from the bottom and ripping it open, tossing it onto the bed before grabbing clothes from the closet, the drawers, whatever you can get your hands on before you move into the bathroom, grabbing your toiletries, your beauty bag, throwing it into your luggage while trying to grab your other valuables.
The front door opens and slams, "Baby?!" being called throughout the house.
You chose to ignore it, zipping up your suitcase and hauling it onto the floor, and you're about to wheel it out of the room when the source of your anger surfaces in the doorway.She looks at you, then at your suitcase, and frowns, pointing at it when she asks "What are you doing?"
You:What does it look like i'm doing Roseanne? I'm leaving.
Chaeyoung takes one step forward, shaking her head frantically.
Chaeyoung:You can't leave...
You:Who says i can't? I'm done. This argument is done and we're fucking done.
She takes another step in front of you, and she goes to place her hands on your arms, but when you wince away, she drops them, unsure of what to do with herself when she says
Chaeyoung:Please baby, just let me explain, okay? I didn't-
You:You didn't what, Roseanne? You didn't mean to tell me to leave? Tell me if i didn't like the way this was going then i should walk away? Cause you're right.I don't like where this is going and I don't want to be with you anymore, all you've been doing is nitpicking at me for the last week, telling me all I do pisses you off, saying the dumbest shit.I told you that i was going out with my sister as a 'for your information' type of thing and you literally told me "great, i'll tell my other girlfriend that". Who says shit like that? That's not funny Rosie!
You take a deep breath, barreling on.
You:And then tonight, i find out you've been texting Lisa behind my back, and what's worse, is that every time we've had an argument in the last month, you didn't just texted her about it but you talked shit about me to her, and then you even met up with her in the middle of the night to "go for a drive and talk". Are you fucking kidding me? And then you have the fucking nerve to tell me to chill out? To tell me to relax when everyone around us seems to know more about MY relationship than I do? And then she also told me you kissed and you think there's something to explain? What's there to explain Roseanne? You kissed another woman!
At the raised tone of your voice Chaeyoung steps back.There are tears in her eyes, a weak explanation on her lips but you don't care, you don't want to hear it.
You:You know i don't like Lisa!You know that i don't like her because she doesn't respect relationships, and she especially doesn't respect our relationship. And clearly neither do you so please, Rosie spare me your sorry ass apology because i do not want to hear it.I hope that you're happy with the next girl, and i honestly hope you don't treat her the same way you fucking treated me.
Chaeyoung awakes with a start, the echoing sound of a slamming door still in her ears.She's dripping in sweat and her chest is heaving.She feels like she can't fucking breathe, and there's tears pricking at the corner of her eyes when she sits up, tries to shake away the nightmare.
No, not the nightmare, the memory.
She looks to her left, checking to make sure she didn't disturb the body laying next to her, and sighs in relief when she sees that she's unbothered, and she takes it upon herself to quietly pad downstairs to the kitchen.
It's been exactly a year since you walked out and she still feels like it happened five minutes ago.
The furniture of her house is different-rearranged to be that way, different than the way it was when she was with you so that she would have an easier time moving on, an easier time forgetting and it was sort of working.
She opens her freezer and takes a long swig from the tequila bottle, not even wincing at the burn that coats her throat and goes down.Chaeyoung takes a seat at the table, downing another swig, trying to cloud her mind and push the memory out.
Nothing seemed to work
She's almost at the bottom of the bottle when she hears soft footsteps in the kitchen, her new girlfriend smiling at her until she notices the liquor and she frowns, concern on her face.
Jisoo:"Another nightmare Chaeyoung?"
She nods, unable to say anything else.
Chaeyoung:I'm okay.
Jisoo:No, you're not, do you want to talk about it?
Again, Chaeyoung shakes her head, instead she says "Let's go to the lake tomorrow yeah? Our little spot, by the trees".
It's not really "their" spot, it's more your spot.Yours because you were the one who showed it to her and now it was the only place she went where she felt close to you, where she felt like still had the part of your relationship that was sacred before she fucked it all up.She didn't mean to take her new girlfriend there but they were having a conversation about commitment and while she was driving she just...ended up there somehow.
It's not what she deserves, this new girl, she'a far too kind, too sweet and has only given Chaeyoung love and respect and patience and really she's the perfect girl.
Just not for her.
Because she's not you.
