What If I Had

twenty three - the reception

As the family and I were settled in our seats, I couldn't help but notice a man walking around making the guests uncomfortable.

He had his eyes wide open, like unnaturally wide.

He claimed he was the wedding photographer.

But something about how conspicuous this guy was and unashamed he appeared.

Funny enough, just as I was about to bring it to Summer and Morty's attention, Rick grabs my attention. It looks like he might've done it unintentionally, he was staring off into space but was staring directly at me from across the table.

It took him a moment before standing up, clearing his throat and reaching for his champagne glass to get the attention of the room. But most importantly, of Birdperson.

"Uh, hi everybody. I'm Rick."
He was reading off of this tiny little napkin, which he clearly had just to do a bit. I knew he was going to crumple it up for satiric effect. "You know, when I first met Birdperson, he was... uhh..."

He crumples the napkin up, like I predicted, and continues,

"Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the Universe because I'm the smartest. And being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets. Now, I haven't been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage. I couldn't make it work, and I could turn a black hole into a sun. So, at a certain point, you got to ask yourself what are the odds this is legit and not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves because we're afraid to die alone? Because, you know, that's exactly how we all die... alone."

Our table groans. Rick's eyes lands on me and solely me. He's searching my eyes for a reaction. I smile faintly at him, subconsciously nodding in encouragement.

"But... but... Here's the thing."

"Birdperson is my best friend, and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too." The room applauses, my smile grows.

"To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet... opening myself up to others."

Rick takes his seat again, setting down the glass with a genuine grin plastered on his face. He looked really happy, finally giving in and just lowering his defences. I watched as he relaxed his shoulders, slumping back into his chair as he looks up to the nest pedestal Tammy and Birdperson were on.

After the applause died down, Tammy stood up.

I mentally rolled my eyes before crossing my arms over my chest, slumping forwards on the tabletop. The only thing supporting me up is my hand acting as a pillar under my chin. I cocked an eyebrow her way, I couldn't be any more disinterested in what Tammy had to say for herself. I get that it was pretty rude of me to be this way at her wedding --especially at her wedding-- but I have my reasons.

"Thank you, Rick. That was beautiful. Blah blah blah, high school senior from the planet Earth, blah blah, blah blahhhh." The room fills with laughter.

I subconsciously wore black to her wedding. That right there should tell you how I feel towards her...

"Blah blah not a high school senior from the planet Earth, blah blah."

... but Tammy just itched me the wrong way.

"Blah blah blah blah, what I really am is a deep-cover agent for the galactic federation, and you guys are a group of wanted criminals, and this entire building is, in a certain sense, surrounded."

I-

Instinctively, my eyes shot up at Summer and Morty. It was just settling in with them, and they soon realized after they fully saw the whole picture.