What If I Had

twenty seven - aviary gwen

"Rick! Rick, c'mere! Come see meeeeee!"

I heard a groan come from outside the door leading into the house before hearing thudding footsteps grow clearer and clearer as they approach the garage. Watching Rick step inside, I snicker to myself quietly.

"Riiiiiiick! Hey! ... hey, where am I?" I asked, all singsongy. "Guess where I am..."

He grunted, rubbing the bridge of his nose in bemusement. "Gwen," he sighed, "I'm not going to entertain this, alright? I'm taking a bottle of rum and I'm gonna go soak in the bath for a good half hour.... or whenever I fall asleep. Honestly, whichever comes first—"

"Wha—? Nooooo, ju-just look up."

Rick obliges.

I'm sitting up in the rafters of the garage. I push my legs off and begin to flutter around the room, carry my tiny blue little body across the garage and around the space. Rick reacts to this, "What the hell did you do...?"

" I turned myself into a bird, Richard! I'm Birdie Gwen!" I chirped, landing on the countertop closest to him.

"You— please don't tell me you used up all my—"

"Yuh-huh." I peeped. "The stuff you used that turned you into a pickle, I used to turn myself into a bluebird. Kinda meta knowing now that that's what you used. I knew all those materials from the last chapter would be put to good use... so here I am!"

"I planned to—oh, God, have you been breaking the fourth wall this entire time?"

"..... no."

"i really don't have the energy to do this right now. Where'd you put the antidote for the serum you made?"

"Ohh about that... honey bunches, could you make me one while I go off and enjoy bring a pretty little bird?" I batted my tiny black eyes like buttons at him, hoping he'd cave in. Rick groaned loud and long, swiping everything off of his counter, causing me to fly up into the rafters again.

Through gritted teeth, he says, "10 minutes... and don't go far."

"Will do!" I circle around the garage twice before I fly out through the garage opening, aiming for The cloudy sky above me.

Before I reach the clouds, I should let you know now that originally the author had written a 5000 word chapter on my day as a bird, involving me robbing an underground mafia and a plethora of paragraphs describing in detail my experiences flying.

It just so happened to have inspired a book separate from my universe that I'd like to bet is still being written.

But, regardless, the chapter was lost so we've decided just to treat you to a one-on-one chat with moi... as a bird.

Let me just fluff up a cloud for me to lounge on.

Hey.

How you doin'?

How's your quarantine been? Good, I hope. I hope you're all staying safe and staying sound, it sounds crazy out there so I'm pretty thankful I'm only in a book.

I'm aware that saying that ages this book, but ehh wine ages too, and that stuff's considered to be like liquid gold.

Speaking of ages, sorry it took so long to finish this book. I can't tell you how embarrassing this is for me because my story deserves an ending, but most importantly you guys deserve an ending so I'm glad she came to her senses and decided to finish what she started.

Geminis, am I right?

You guys enjoying the book so far?

Yeah, I get that this chapter is purely a fourth wall break but fuck it, I love me some metaphysics.

You can skip to chapter twenty eight if you'd like. I completely understand if you do. I promise you, you won't miss anything crucial to the plot.

I'll see you in the next chapter...

Still there?

Thanks for sticking around. That means the world to me. Literally. :)

I think it's sorta funny being confined to these pages. I live through my story and when it ends, I can always just re-read it all over again.

If I ever get bored here, there's a board game cafe just down the street from where my book is. That's usually where I hang out in between chapters. I also plan on going there extensively when you finish reading this book, but I'll be back the second you decide to read through this book again.

So to those of you who speed through the book, give me a break here and there, eh?

The ads Wattpad has in between chapters is a pain, I know, but think of it this way: I get a little coffee break in between while you watch an ad about that interactive game called Episode.

Did you know that in the earliest stages of this book being written, my name was almost finalized as Stella Weiss? I guess it was... too obvious of a name? I don't know, it's a writer thing, I suppose.

Did you also know that the author met Zendaya and Bella Thorne once?

It's so dumb, ok so she was about 10 or 11 when her class went on a trip downtown (in a big undisclosed city) and on their way back to the school, they met the two celebrities before they were widely known.

You know, the early days of Shake It Up!

Anyway, the author had no clue who these two women were, because the author never grew up with the Disney Channel, so she—

Is it annoying that I'm having a one-sided conversation with you right now? You can tell me if it's annoying. I won't stop per se, but you can tell me regardless!

And if you're trying to talk back and I keep cutting you off, sorry about that. I wish books had ears, I really do. I'd give my left thumb just to hear you guys. But ah, c'est la vie...

So long story short, she doesn't end up getting a picture with them, but she does end up embarrassing herself by saying that she, and I quote,

"Loved their book!"

That— oof, thank God I didn't exist yet. Just telling that story again gives me secondhand embarrassment.

I—

Hmm?

Ok, well I've just been told that we gotta wrap this chapter up. You're such a good listener, thanks again for hearing me talk and talk and talk and talk.

Three chapters left. I can't believe it either.

Thiccc chapters, too. I hope y'all love reading.

I hopped off my little cloud to close my wings into a dive position, I want to arrive back at the house as soon as humanly possible.

Once I arrive in the driveway, I flutter down onto the pavement to hop on both talons into the garage as literal sparks fly when I see Rick. What the hell is he doing?

"Crafting a syringe. You're not the only one who can read the text, you know." Rick stepped away from the counter, the antidote in hand. He dropped down on one knee with an open palm to me, waiting for me to hop up into his hand. I oblige, letting him take me over to the counter again and setting me down.

He's got a towel ready. I notice this and gulp.

Without warning, he lifts up my left wing and sticks the needle in my armpit. My screech in pain turned into a humanly yelp and whimper as I shapeshifter back into my original state of being.

Even though I did nothing with it, I still really liked being a bird. "There." Rick clearers his throat, reaching for the towel. "You're back."

I coo in disappointment, taking the towel and wrapping myself up in it.