if i believe you ✓

→ THIRTY

"I'M SO PROUD OF YOU." Cole smiles as he leans on his hand, staring at Luke.

"Why? You're proud that I used your best friend, and then tried to kill myself when people called me out on it?" He sighs, picking at a missing chunk of wooden lacquer on the coffee shop table. "I hate me... I can't imagine what everyone else thinks."

"But anybody who's done this knows how difficult it is. They're not going to hold a grudge against you."

"You need to order something or I'm kicking you out." chips in one of the baristas, completely disregarding the fact they were just having a conversation. "I don't care if you are that singer from that band. Also, can you please tell Ashton to call me back? He hasn't yet, and I'm angry."

"Nicola? I'll tell him." Luke half-smiles, raising an eyebrow, before turning back to Cole. "I'll go up."

Before he can protest, Luke disappears from their table, and walks up to the counter, striking up a conversation with Nicola, one of their crew members who apparently works here too.

Cole exhales softly, creating a slight condensation on the window. It's strangely liberating to not have to sneak around with Luke anymore, but at the same time, he wishes he'd be OK. Luke seems to be on a knife edge at the moment, and Cole's absolutely petrified of pushing him over the wrong side.

But they're trying. Every single day, there's a moment, just a few seconds, where small parts of the old Luke shine through the broken cracks of this version, and every single time it happens, Cole can almost feel his boyfriend healing. Slowly, but surely. Better than nothing.

Luke returns with a smile on his face and a tray of their food. His goddamn smile. Cole hasn't seen it for... three? four? months, but he wants to cry now it's back.

"I love you, Luke. God, I'm such a wreck."

Luke laughs lightly, reaching across the table. "It's fine. We can be wrecks together."