Heartless

Chapter 21

Zayn's POV

I clutch the white tulips in my left hand, and hold the stuffed panda bear in my right, making sure that it doesn't get dirty.

After knocking on the boys' door, my nervous level is at it's highest as I wait anxiously for someone to answer.

The door soon opens, and my whole mood changes as I see Carissa at the door. But I instantly turn confused as I see her eyes puffy and red.

"Carissa what happened?" As soon as I asked that, I instantly mentally face palm at the question. "Sorry-"

"Would you like to come in?" She asks timidly. Nodding, she opens the door wider as I walk in, hearing it shut behind me. I see the boys all staring at me, a disapproving expression etched on their faces, making me frown.

Turning to face Carissa, I see that she's facing me already, her eyes looking into mine before staring at the gifts in my hands.

"I got these for you," I hand her the flowers. As she grabs the bouquet, our fingers brush, causing me to feel a shock of electricity down my spine. After the flowers, I hand her the stuffed panda, making her giggle.

"W-What's so funny?" I ask nervously. She shakes her head and places the flowers behind her, on the table and grabs the panda, hugging it.

"Never got gifts from my boyfriend before."

She just said 'my boyfriend'. She means me, she still wants me. Cue the angel music in my head now.

"Can we talk?" I look at the boys, "Alone?"

"Yeah," she nods and takes the bouquet, "follow me." She passes the boys and starts heading upstairs.

I don't speak to them as I brush passed, and head upstairs to see Carissa entering a room. Following her, I see that she's placed the flowers on top of the dresser, and the panda on the bed. Closing the door, I turn back to see her sitting on the bed, staring at her hands.

"Carissa," I walk towards her, "I want to explain myself."

"Okay," she looks up as I sit next to her on the bed.

"What I did was stupid and idiotic of me," I watch her emotion; nothing.

"Why didn't you come back?" Her eyes start to water, "You said that you'll come back after that night, but you didn't."

No please don't cry.

"I-I," dammit, "I was embarrassed." I confess. She looks up at me and presses her lips in a line.

"Why?"

"Because I thought I took things too fast. I thought that you didn't want to be with me after that night." I hesitantly reach over to her, trying to hold her hand. She closes the hand space between us, interlocking our fingers, a sigh escaping our lips.

"Why did you sleep with another girl?" She asks, squeezing our grasp.

"I couldn't take it being without you, I snapped on the last day and went to the bar, drinking my ass off. Next thing I know, I wake up to a girl in my bed." She winces at my words, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. "I wanted to be with you the whole week, I love you."

"I never stopped wanting to be with you Zayn," our eyes meet, "never. I was afraid if I knocked on your door, you'd yell at me. I was afraid that you thought I didn't want to have sex with you."

"I should've waited," I sigh, "I should've waited for you, but I just saw you in your bra and panties and I lashed out."

"I didn't know you wanted me that much," she whispers.