Headshrinker

Chapter 7

After a long day of lectures and studying Guigsy invited me over. I had wanted to watch a movie in my pajamas, alone in the dark of my room but I dropped that plan for him. I just hoped his plans were only to hang out as friends because I couldn't take much more talk of relationships.

Guigsy let me in and told me he had something for me in his kitchen. I followed him assuming he was leading me to a perfect platter of snack food for our latest TV session.

"I realised I've been expecting a romantic relationship but I haven't been doing any romancing." he explained as he picked up a heart shaped box of chocolates and bunch of blue flowers.

He got down on one knee, giving me the flowers and heart shaped box. "Will you be my valentine?" He rolled his eyes as he asked as if it was supposed to be a joke.

"It's like a fortnight away." I told him, not knowing how to react.

He got to his feet. "Plenty of time for me to book a restaurant."

"I've never gotten flowers and chocolate before." I commented, sort of avoiding the issue. "I like these, they're quite nice."

I never understood giving flowers. I guess they're nice to look at but I found it a strange thing for people to do. Why was this of all things considered an expression of love? Chocolate makes sense. Chocolate is the best and we can share eating them. His gesture had maybe opened up the idea of dating him. How could I refuse if he was going to supply me with chocolate to mark dumb holidays.

"Lose your flowers, chocolates and dinner date virginity with me then."

"On valentines day?!" I exclaimed, I couldn't think of anything worse than being out on that night with everywhere packed full of loved up couples who bought into the hallmark holiday.

"Any time you want."

I could only imagine how a dinner date would end with desert so I agreed to be his Valentine, I could do it just for one day. "Just not that night. Valentine's eve or summat."

"Alright, sorted."

"What other virginities have we got to lose together?"

He thought about it. "You've never seen us play, we've not been on holiday, we've not spent holidays together, we've never gone public with anything."

"There's nothing to go public with. Everyone knows we're friends, did you want Bonehead and everyone else to know the reason I had to retake my A Levels was you and drugs? We've been given a clean slate, let's not rush into anything."

"They're gonna find out. I don't know who's believing this clean, pure innocent act. They're not blind."

"Then maybe we should lay low. I liked it when it was secret. It was fun. This isn't fun."

"No, it's not. You strolled into the band's space and expected all these things on your terms. I want all that back too but I want more too. I won't hide."

"Why do you want to get tied down to me when you want to take off with your band? I'll fall for you and you'll go off and forget about me."

"How many bands do you think actually go anywhere?"

"How many have Noel driving them? He'll knock on the door of every record company until someone takes you on."

"Even then, I won't forget you. Would you dump me if I was so ill I could die?"

"No! Of course not, I'd make the best of it."

"So why not now cos I might leave one day?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't justify not wanting to be with him while wanting to do everything with him. I tried to let him think he was softening the barrier between him, me and a romantic relationship. I didn't have to be so hostile about it.