Too many unnecessary details
Example:
As I was getting ready for my date with Senpai, I rummaged through my closet and was able to pick up a dress. I wore a sleeveless red dress with black ruffles at the ends, the length of the skirt ended by my knees. Every step I took, the silk fabric would flow against the wind. The dress was just as beautiful as me LOL! It was as red as the blood from my victims... There was lace on it... It makes my butt look nice... It was made in China, etc.
Readers don't want the dress, readers want Senpai!! Thanks for coming to my TED-ED talk. But seriously, keep the details and descriptions brief! Just make them simple!!
Thanks, zuriiya for submitting your pet peeve (2/6)
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