A Restless Mind

Why?

Why? Why will always be the question, a question that may never receive an answer. Did you ever love me at all? Or was it just a temporary high, a game to you. Was my love just a game to you?

You fool yourself, telling yourself you know how to love, maybe that it wasn't meant to be, maybe that it was my fault; but the thing is, you truly don't know how to love, you don't even understand the concept, the only people I believe you love are the people who you were taught to love.

I think back, roam into memories that still make me smile; do they make you smile too? Do you even think of them anymore? Did you ever think of them at all? Do you miss me? Or was I so insignificant in your life that when you MADE me let you go, you didn't look back once.

I wanted to believe it wasn't true, that you would fight for me in ways I could only ever imagine, but you let me go, like I was worth nothing to you. Do you not remember the times I made you smile? The times I made you happy? The times I gave everything for you when all you would ever give me were empty words?

How stupid I was, to fall in your web of lies once again, but the saddest part is, you weren't just lying to me, you were lying to yourself, causing more damage than you could ever imagine.

How cruel can you be? I remember I called you cruel more than once, and you couldn't even begin to comprehend why; you were so blind towards your faults and your actions, that you didn't even notice who you hurt in the process, and you didn't even care, because you couldn't understand the pain you put me through, so it weighed nothing in your mind, while it tore my heart a little more each time.

How can you live with yourself? But I suppose the phrase "Ignorance is Bliss" comes to mind. How can the purest heart have the cruelest mind? Your naivety will be your downfall, because one day someone will come, who will break your heart the way you broke mine, and the worst part of it is, it will be by your own hand.

Thoughts of a restless mind. More thoughts will come to haunt my dreams. They always do.

-Survivor