Paralyzed [Nouis]

Chapter 4 // Niall

"I wonder what that was all about." I said, finding my shirt and slipping it back on. Liam, Louis, and Harry had all been acting so strange, and I still couldn't make sense of why Liam would steal my blanket like that. What if I had been naked? But I was with Zayn, so I wouldn't have been naked. Still, why did he take it?

"Probably because Louis loves you." Zayn said simply, casually, as he slipped his shirt on, too. I rolled my eyes and turned to Zayn, placing my hands on my hips.

"How can you be so sure Louis loves me?" I asked, turning away again to search for a hoodie to hide the scars on my wrists. I had just thrown it off last night, as I remember, but I wasn't even sure what direction I'd tossed it.

"The way he looks at you," Zayn began. "the way he acts around you, the fact that he looked jealous when he came in, the fact that I heard some things he said when he was talking to Harry-"

"What?" I asked, cutting him off and pausing in my search for a hoodie to look over at him.

"Well," Zayn began. "I woke up when I heard the door open, but I didn't open my eyes. I heard Louis say No. No, no, please no, then he ran out. I heard him talking to Harry, saying I saw Zayn in bed with Niall. They were both asleep and shirtless and things like that. I know Liam walked in, but they were talking too quietly for me to hear after that."

"That could mean anything. Maybe . . . maybe he loves you." I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. I knew I shouldn't have been getting so upset over this, but I couldn't help it. Louis meant so much to me, it was hard to not be upset.

Zayn shook his head and came up to me, wrapping his arms around me. He held me for a moment, allowing everything to fall silent, then he began talking- quiet as if it was a secret. "Niall, Louis seemed more worried than the rest of us when you ran out."

"What?" I muttered. My arms were wrapped around Zayn's neck, so I pulled away slightly, my chest still pressed into Zayn, and rubbed my eyes dry. I culled back into Zayn's chest, my arms going limp over his shoulders.

"He started freaking out and almost ran after you, like, right away. But Harry held him back and said we were all going." Zayn said. I stayed silent for a moment, not sure what to say. Zayn continued, "You see? He loves you. Just tell him you love him."

"No. No he was just . . . worried." I denied, pulling away from him. "He can't love a freak like me! Look at me, Zayn!" I shouted, looking down at my wrists. The tears flowed over my eyes, running down my cheeks and probably soaking into my shirt, but if they did I didn't notice.

"Niall, you're a beautiful person." Zayn whispered, running his thumb over my cheek, wiping away tears that hadn't fallen off my cheeks yet. "You're so beautiful and it really sucks that you don't know that. You're beautiful."

"No I'm not." I muttered, wiping my eyes again with the back of my hand, bumping his hand away from my face. My tears kept coming down like rain, and it was really irritating because I couldn't make them stop. "You're just saying that."

"Niall, stop denying everything! You're beautiful, and he loves you!" Zayn shouted, probably loud enough for the other boys to hear. But he didn't seem to care, and I really didn't either.

"You really think I'm beautiful?" I whispered. I pulled my hands away from my face because I'd given up trying to wipe away all of my tears. Zayn nodded, tilting my face up so we were eye-level.

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Zayn said softy, a smile on his face. It was a sweet smile. I'd never seen a smile so sweet on Zayn's mouth, or a look so sweet in his eyes. It made my heart flutter slightly, and it made my mind go to funny places.

"Have you ever kissed a boy?" I blurted, not meaning to. I almost punched myself, thinking I'd ruined the moment Zayn and I were having. But Zayn just smiled a different smile, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "No. Why? Have you?"

I shook my head. He looked down, then looked back up at me, gazing into my eyes again. "Can I . . . can I try something?"

I was nervous, but I trusted Zayn, so I nodded. I already knew what he was going to do, though. He leaned in slowly, his lips almost touching mine. My heart skipped a beat and I moved my head back a little, sort of afraid. Would it make things awkward? I asked myself. If I kissed Zayn, would things be weird between us?

Zayn's lips brushed mine, and I leaned in further so our lips were touching slightly. Zayn leaned in the rest of the way, his lips molding with mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him more.

I didn't know kissing a boy would be like this. Well, I'd actually never been kissed before, so I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting.

Zayn wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling our bodies closer. I didn't try to pull away this time, because I wasn't scared anymore.

He pushed me against the wall, the kiss not breaking. He lifted my legs up, wrapping them around his waist, pushing me into the wall even more. Our chests were pressed together and our lips were moving as if they'd been like this forever.

Zayn's hands squeezed my upper thigh, close to my bum, and I let out a squeak of surprise, then a small giggle. He took that opportunity and slipped his tongue into my mouth, exploring around. I had no idea a kiss between two boys who were practically brothers would be like this. My hands reached up to Zayn's hair, my fingers tangling in it, bringing him closer.

"Z-Zayn?" the voice shocked Zayn and I both. We broke apart. I looked over Zayn's shoulder while Zayn whipped his head around, looking at our intruder. Of course it was Louis. He was standing there, tears flooding his eyes, his hands shaking, shocked. I knew it. I just knew it, all along. Louis' in love with Zayn.

"L-Louis." Zayn stuttered, not loosening his grip on me. He did shift a little though, so he wasn't pressed into me as hard or as much. "Louis, fuck, I-I-"

Louis ran out of the room, sobs already shaking his body. His face had shown a look of betrayal, his eyes locked on me. I sighed and dropped my legs from around Zayn, letting go of his hair. My hands were shaking and I wanted to cry.

"See? I told you." I whispered, all-too-familiar tears filling my eyes once again. I really wish I wasn't such a baby about this, but I actually could not help it. And if that wasn't frustrating enough. "He's desperately in love with you."

"No. No he's not. He loves you." Zayn said, stroking the tears from my cheeks. I grabbed a hoodie off the floor and slipped it on, "We'll see about that."