Paralyzed [Nouis]

Chapter 14 // Niall

Someone walked into my room again today. Whoever it was took my hand, squeezing it lightly.

I knew it was probably Louis. The other boys don't come visit me, not often and not alone. Whoever this was seemed to be alone.

"How is he?" He asked someone else who was in the room- probably a nurse. Yeah, that was definitely Louis.

"His level of brain activity seems to be rising fairly quickly," Shit. "We think, if he stays improving at this rate, he may be able to wake up within a few days. Possibly even tomorrow."

No! I can't wake up! I don't fucking want to wake up! I hate everything right now.

"Thank you." Louis whispered. His voice sounded relieved and- no. Oh no. No no. Thank you not!

After that, I just blocked everything out. I know Louis was talking to me, and he said quite a lot, but I just didn't listen. I didn't want to listen. I knew everything he said was a lie.

"I love you so much, Niall." No you don't. You can't love a hopeless twat like me. Stupid, stupid Louis.

Oh, right, he's losing his mind.

I just kept thinking this one thought. Over and over and over: I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. Just kill me already. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.

Louis began stroking my cheek, calming me down. He obviously didn't know he was calming me down, but his touch was comforting and relaxing and that's something I needed right now.

I pictured myself smiling, wishing I could actually smile edgy now. I've felt like such shit lately, it would be great to feel my cheeks move up and my lips shift into a smile. I need that feeling right now.

Louis kissed my forehead and left. I wasn't paying too much attention, but I think I heard Harry with him at one point.

Harry.

I love Harry, I do. He's one of my best friends, but he always steals Louis from me. I hate it.

I sighed, clenching my hand into a fist. My actual hand, the one attached to my actual body, clenched into a hard fist.

It took me a little while, but I realized I wasn't supposed to be able to do that. I shouldn't be able to do that! I'm in a coma! No, no I'm waking up. No! This is not fair. I don't want to wake up!

Despite my thoughts- my desperate, desperate thoughts, my eyes opened, and I was blinded by a very bright white light. I sat up slowly, groaning as I did.

"Mr. Horan! You're awake." A nurse said. I nodded, my mouth and throat dry and sore. That was probably a good thing, because anything that was gonna come out of my mouth at that moment was a string of curse words.

I felt so bitter. So much hatred was welling up inside me, I felt like screaming. But I couldn't do that.

"Would you like me to call someone, or would you rather wait until tomorrow?" She asked, handing me a glass of water. I took a small sip.

"Please wait until tomorrow?" I asked. My voice was rough, and it hurt to speak. It would hurt like a bitch to scream right now.

"Of course. Would you like to eat something?" My nurse was very polite, I thought.

"No thank you. But could I have some pain killers? My head is killing me." I said. She nodded.

"I'll go fetch them for you." She said, walking away. I took another small sip of my water, being sure to save some for the pills that kind nurse was about to bring me.

-•-

When she got back, I smiled, thanked her, and took the pills, laying back down. I couldn't sleep, though, so I stayed up all night, just thinking about things that were going to happen tomorrow.

Maybe I could just pretend. I could pretend to be asleep and not have to deal with Louis, but then I would be listening to him talk to me. I don't want to do that.

I kept thinking over things that would happen tomorrow. I want to see Louis, but it'll only bring me pain.

Then I remembered the wires in my arms, the ones probably keeping me alive right now.

I sat up again, staring at the wires in my arm. I smiled slightly, gripping the wires without a second thought.

I took a deep breath, "I love you Louis," and ripped them out.