Love Triangle (Wilkinson vs. Gilinsky)

17. Apology

SHAY'S POV

Get yourself together, Shay.

I listen to the little voice inside my head. I stop crying. I lift my head off of Sam's shoulder, leaving a dark spot on his light grey shirt.

He holds onto my shoulders and looks me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry about your shirt." I look at the spot I marked and wipe my nose.

He turns his head to look at his shoulder and cracks a smile, "It'll dry."

I wipe the lingering tears off my face and smile slightly, "I don't know why you still hang out with me."

"I like hanging out with you." Sam says casually, helping me wipe a tear off my chin.

I smile at him softly and lean against his shoulder. He moves his arm around my waist so my body fits perfectly between his arm and body. I cuddle against him and continue to watch the TV.

There's a moment of silence before I bite my lip and ask, "Sam?"

He looks down at me.

"Who broke your heart?"

He looks straight forward at the TV and pauses.

I lick my lips and continue, "When we were playing 'never have I ever' at the lakehouse and that guy said he had never been heartbroken..." I trail off.

Sam scratches his head nervously. "I was really drunk, Shay. My body kind of reacted before my mind could process what was going on."

I look at him. "Did I break your heart?"

Sam starts tapping his leg rapidly before responding, "When I threw my shirt in, I was thinking about you." I feel my heart beat quicken and my palms start to sweat. He continues, "I mean, I was obviously devastated when you chose Jack." I wince at his name and blink hard. "But I didn't think it was to that degree. It freaked me out. So, I hooked up with another girl that night." I think back to the girl sitting on Sam's lap. "She wasn't anything special. I can't even remember her name." He scratches his head as he tries to wrack his brain of that memory.

"You looked like you liked her." I remember him smiling at her as she whispered in his ear.

He shakes his head. "Nah. Honestly, I regretted kissing her the second it was over."

I look at him curiously, "Why?"

He pauses. "Because your lips weren't the last ones I had kissed anymore." I feel my heart skip a beat as he looks at me. "That's why I was more than happy to give all of my tickets to that crazy lady at the kissing booth." He smirks at me.

I look at him. I don't know how to feel.

"...You still have feelings for me?"

He stops smirking and looks at me. Before responding, he pauses.

"Of course I do, Shay." He says quietly. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I just--I can't stop liking you."

I look away. I want to cry again. My thoughts are running marathons and I don't know what to think.

"Shay..." Sam says as I turn my back, attempting to conceal my unyielding tears. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

I take a deep breath and wipe away a tear, "I don't even know why I'm crying, Sammy." I sheepishly smile at him through my tears.

Sam pulls me into him and I lay my head on his chest. We continue to stare at the TV, but neither of us are really watching. I try to gather my thoughts as I mindlessly watch the screen.