The Last Shifter (a Loki romance)

Chapter 88

Given the ambitious plan Thor had laid out, I had trouble getting to sleep. There were just so many things that could go wrong. We would get Loki out no problem, but would Sif be able to get Jane out? Would Volstagg be able to singlehandedly take the ship? Would Thor even be able to fly it? When I'd talked to him about it briefly after the meeting, he'd seemed pretty confident in his abilities, but I had my doubts. Not in his competency as a pilot, but his competency at being able to adapt and effectively use 5000-year-old technology. I'd also been hoping for a small crowd on Svartalfheim, preferably just Thor, Jane, Loki, and me, but now it sounded like there could be three extra sets of eyes watching the action, and Loki, for trouble. Not that they'd foil our plans, but their presence would make getting Loki and I alone after he 'died' that much harder. What if Heimdall failed to distract Odin long enough? Or he betrayed us? I didn't know him personally, just enough to request that he not watch me, but when high treason was on the line and his first duty was to the ruling monarch, perhaps he would have a change in heart.

I didn't doubt the abilities of anyone involved, not really anyway, but when Loki and I were so close to achieving our goal to make Thanos think he was dead, my mind was searching and playing out every single little thing that could go wrong. Loki might not even get a plausible opportunity to 'die' in the first place! Or Thor would see through his illusion much sooner than we want. After being lucky that the Chitauri hadn't been sent after him yet, and everything that had ever gone wrong in my life, I was having a hard time believing that Plan A was actually going to work. I also feared for Jane. Thor's plan to use her as bait was reckless, but the only option we had. Still, I feared that Malekith would simply kill her. I would just have to be ready for anything.

After a couple hours of tossing and turning, I suddenly realized part of why I was so restless. Loki had completely closed our Bond. It had been closed since last night too, I just hadn't realized it until now, because there had always been something else at the front of my mind. But now...the emptiness was stifling. I tried to reach out to him, but either he refused to open it or he was sleeping.

I got up an hour before sunrise, unable to try and rest any longer, put on five of my rings, and went down to the stables, where I saddled Kurt and took him out. I rode hard to get out of the city and away from civilization. I just wanted to escape everything. Escape my worries, concerns, and fears. After not being haunted by them this badly in decades, it was crushing to feel the negative emotions constantly again. Of course, galloping on Kurt did nothing to banish my feelings, but it gave me an output for my energy. I watched the sunrise from a cliff five miles or so from the city, my view totally unobstructed by trees or buildings. I found it hard to believe that such simple beauty could still exist after all the bad that had happened here recently but yet, here it was.

The ride back to the palace was slower than the one away from it, Kurt's flanks were sweaty from the hard journey out and I didn't want to overwork him. Plus, I still had a couple hours to kill. When I did get back, I took my time washing Kurt and combing his mane and tail out. Only when that was finished did I return to my chambers, bathe, and put on my travel and battle garb, the silver armor and dark blue cloth and by the time I was ready, it was time to move, so I grabbed an outfit for Loki to change into and met Thor at the entrance to the prisons.

"I would prefer it if you allowed me to speak with him privately. Or at least with you out of sight. I wish to see if I can convince him to come without your help. I need to see how far gone he actually is."

"Go ahead." I gestured to the staircase and Thor started down.

"Thor." I heard Loki's icy tone, "After all this time and now you come to visit me. Why? Have you come to gloat? To mock?"