a/u: disclaimer. this chapter mentions self harm. don't read if you're sensitive to the topic. skip to the bold letters if you want to skip past the topic. thanks, the author
•megan•
"i'm going to bed." i quickly said, holding back my breathe as i walked up the spiraling stairs. alex stayed back with jonah to lock up as i closed the bathroom door. it only took one look in the mirror to recognize the face. it was the old me. the bullied mess i'd become in high school. the broken girl who cried every night. the reflection started to cry, as i did. i held back the loud sobs, making my cries almost silent as i sat on the long counter. i opened the door, quietly as i silently rushed into jonahs room. i looked all around his room for the desired item, when i came to his desk. opening one drawer i pulled out a small pocket knife. sliding it into my pocket, i wiped a falling tear as i hurried out of the room and back into the bathroom. i let the tears fall as i sat on the counter once more. i pulled up jonah's hoodie sleeves, revealing all the past scars my arm held. i took the knife in my shaky hand as i placed it only my arm. letting everything go, i let out one quick sob as the blade cut my wrist. i slowly held my hand over my mouth to muffle myself. i quickly wiped my arm before grabbing some gauge from a nearby cabinet. i wrapped my wrist before cleaning the small blade. as i sniffled one more time a small knock came from the door, making my heart stop.
*THIS IS THE END OF THE TOPIC FOR THOSE WHO SKIPPED. sorry*
"megan?" a small voice spoke.
"yeah zach." i said, immediately heating the weak strain of my voice.
"you done?" he whispered as i wiped my tears and tried to hide that i was crying. i mumbled before opening the door. the second i saw zach, i fake sneezed. i immediately brought my, covered, arm up to my face to hide my red eyes as zach hummed a 'bless you' as he walked into the bathroom before closing the door.
mentally slapping myself i walked back into jonahs room, where i set his pocket knife back deep into the drawer i found it in. i quietly hiccuped as i jumped into jonahs bed, leaving my hoodie on as always. i quickly closed my eyes, hid my face, and became still as i heard the door start to open. jonah shuffled around before getting into bed. he rubbed my shoulder ever so slightly as he who whispered.
"goodnight beautiful." he said, placing a quick kiss on my head before laying down completely. i couldn't help but smile. i fell asleep remembering everything that's happened since i've known the boys. how they've saved me in the past, and how jonah is saving me right now.
"hey gorgeous." jonah whispered as i groaned, closing my eyes again.
"come on get up lazy." he laughed as i pulled myself up. my eyes widened as i remembered last night. mentally panicking, i quickly looked down at my arms. sighing in relief that my hoodie sleeves draped over my wrists, i looked back up at jonah who looked at me confused. i nervously scratched the back of my neck as i got up.
"can i borrow a new hoodie?" i asked, calmly looking back at jonah.
"most of my hoodies are dirty. what about a teeshirt?" he suggested, rummaging through his messy drawers with his back to me.
"no." i said, too quickly and with more panic in my voice than necessary. jonah immediately snapped his head up as he spun around to look at me.
"i mean. i'm just cold." i covered up, as i fake shivered just slightly. jonah crossed his arms as he raised one of his eyebrows and leaned onto the large dresser behind him.
"why not a teeshirt? we have blankets." he pointed out, making me more nervous then ever.
"i'm going to the bathroom." i spat out, anxiously spinning on my heel. i was desperate to get out of the tense room. as i headed for the door, jonah gently grabbed onto my wrist, making me flinch and scowl in pain. jonah immediately let go at my painful noice as he looked at me, both shocked and confused. i couldn't help but bring my other hand to my wrist, trying to ease the pain.
"did i hurt you?" jonah asked, concerned as his voice shook.
"no. i'm fine." i assured him, smiling the best i could as i let go of my wrist, that burned and ached from the contact with jonahs large hand.
"then why did you flinch." he questioned, inching closer to me as i slowly backed up.
"y-you just startled me." i stuttered, growing more anxious by the second. although he moved gently and careful, i was terrified.
"megan. please don't lie." he whispered as he stopped moving, for i was pushed all the way to the wall. he stood so close to me i could feel his warm breath as he spoke. a small part of me was quiet scared of what he'd say if he found out. i know i'm always safe with him but now i wasn't sure. my lip started to quiver as i held back the tears that threatened to fall. finally one fell, no matter how hard i tried to stop it.
"i'm sorry." i whispered, my voice cracking as i started to cry. jonah's face immediately loosened up as he quickly embraced me into a hug. he made me feel better the second i became limp into his arms.
"you don't have to do that. just talk to me. we'll figure it out." he hummed. i nodded against his chest as he led me into the bathroom. he patted the counter as we entered the large bathroom. still sniffling, i hopped onto the counter as jonah got out the first aid kit from a nearby cabinet. as he set the small box down, he looked up at me. i nodded before he slowly slid my hoodie sleeve up. i looked away from him, not wanting to see his reaction. i soon failed and looked at him. he wasn't fazed at all. he didn't seem shocked or confused by the thin lines on my wrist. he finally looked back up at me, only to see my confused expression.
"i know what you're going through." he whispered, his eyes flickering with tears.
authors note
i'm sorry to those who are sensitive. i tried my best not to make it that gory i guess. but anyways i hope you enjoyed. what do you think jonah meant? question of the chapter: what's your favorite song that one of the boys have put out solo? mine is war paint by jonah, but i also like liar by jack. make sure to vote!
thanks, the author
