The Stars Between -- (VLD)

[45] You idiot

"I-I don't - I don't understand." Hunk said quietly. It was the first thing anybody had said on their return to the Castle, and Keith didn't even look up at the sound of his voice. "I mean- I mean, if Shiro was... was gone, there'd be a body, right? He wouldn't just disappear like that, there... there's gotta be some explanation."

"At first I thought the blood might be someone else's, and Shiro had to fight them off," Pidge's voice lacked all its usual enthusiasm as she sat curled up in her seat, glasses pushed up into her hair. "So I analysed it, but..."

"He- he still could have survived though, right?"

Pidge shook her head, pulling her arms around her. "Not without grievous, or fatal injuries."

Keith squeezed his eyes shut against the tears threatening to make a reappearance. "Can we not talk about this?" He said, voice cracking more than he had intended.

He felt sick, pools of blood imprinted on the back of his eyelids. A mangled mass of metal. The Black Lion standing vigil over the scene, silent.

Keith stood abruptly, avoiding his teammates gaze by staring at his feet.

"Hey, where are you--"

"Room." He muttered, walking quickly. He stared at his feet all the while, knowing that Hunk and Pidge were sharing concerned glances.

As soon as the door to the bridge shut behind him, Keith slid to the floor, back against a wall. He rested his forehead against his knees, letting out a shaky breath.

This wasn't how it was meant to be.

A tear slid down Keith's nose, and he didn't make a move to brush it away. It would be too much energy that he didn't have. Instead, it dropped onto his jeans, immediately getting soaked up. Another followed soon after, and he moved to press his eyes into his knees.

"Keith?"

Keith stiffened at the sound of his name. "Yeah?" He winced at how rough his voice sounded, unseen by the princess.

There was the sound of rustling fabric as she sat down next to him. "How are you..." she audibly blanched. "Sorry, insensitive question. I... we are all worried for you."

Not like he didn't know that already.

"We have no way to find Lance or the Blue Lion, and now we have Black, but no Paladin."

Keith wondered how she could keep talking like they were only minor setbacks, but he still didn't bring his head up from his knees.

"I carry the burden of my entire home planet being destroyed." Allura said quietly, and Keith belatedly realised he had said that out loud. "But for the sake of the universe, I have to be strong. A princess of a place no longer on the star charts is not going to save them from the terrors of the Galra."

"Your strength isn't going to bring Shiro and Lance back either..." Keith mumbled bitterly.

"That is true," Allura said with a sigh. "But I don't think all hope is lost."

"We're missing our leader-" Keith's throat closed up, and he lifted his head, resting back against the wall.

The pools of blood still flashed behind his eyelids.

"We're missing-" he paused to clear his throat. "two teammates. Why don't you think this is hopeless?"

Instead of answering his question, Allura rested a hand on his shoulder. Keith couldn't be bothered brushing it off, staring at the ceiling and fighting back tears again.