Saved || A Jungkook fanfic

54. Blame

[Edited]

I never liked hospitals.

Maybe it's the bustling halls charged with paranoia, the thick tension and sullen faces of those hoping they can see their loved ones again, a grim sadness that haunts all who enter the building. It's almost as if the grim reaper himself lurked in the darkest corners, ready to bring the scythe down on all who let go of their life, whether they're ready or not.

It's endlessly suffocating. 

I felt hopeless, helpless as I could only sit next to Jungkook on the waiting room bench. No amount of pats on the back or comforting words could stop the tears that fell endlessly, heart cracking more and more with each passing hour we had to wait for news. 

"One year," he's been whimpering that for over an hour now. "I haven't seen her in over a year. She can't leave me now." 

Tears welled up in my eyes, a surge of intense guilt washed through my system and I forced my eyes shut. 

'I'm the reason he hasn't seen her, I'm the reason he left his family behind. Everything that he's done has been for me. I'm disgusting, selfish. I don't deserve him.'

The truth shot through me, a bullet of self hatred so overwhelming I thought I would pass out from the internal pain that ricocheted through my mind. Nails dug into the flesh of my knees as I tried to hold my figure up, failing to act as passive as I could be for him. 

One of us needed to be strong in this moment and it shouldn't have to be Jungkook.

His nose snotty and red, dark hair a sea salted mop on his head as his hands tangled and pulled at the clumped strands, eyes swollen from ceaseless crying.

I've never seen him this broken. 

I looked up as the door opened, hoping it would be the doctor with good news that Ji-eun was awake and well. Unfortunately I was met with Jungkook's parents, back from their short trip to the vending machine for some drinks. 

"Jungkook," Daniel followed in behind, still in his work suit that was now a wrinkled mess. 

Jungkook stood to his feet, striding to meet Daniel in the middle of the almost empty room for a hug filled with choked sobs. I watched as they both exchanged tearful looks, a silent conversation happening between the two brothers. 

I could only stand awkwardly, lips pressed into a thin line as the family bleakly conversed between each other.

"What the hell happened?" Daniel looked between his parents, attempting to wipe the tears from his cheeks that fell in streams. 

"S-she-- the car-- I told her not t-to go-- " Their mother couldn't finish her sentence, pressing her mascara streaked face into her husbands shirt.

Daniel's hands began to shake, eyes widening as the situation grew full circle. "Why did she-- "

"She was going to see Jungkook," their father spit the words out like acid, eyes growing dark as he focused on his younger son's dreadful face before turning his scrutinizing eyes to me. "She's been horribly sick but when you told her where Jungkook ran off to... she left."

"I tried to get her to stop!" his mother yelled, fully breaking down another time. "I begged and pleaded, she wasn't well! She said-- seeing her brother-- w-would-- " Again her sentence remained unfinished, another round of sobs wracked through her body as she fell to her knees, hands engulfing her face.

All three helped her stand, guiding her to sit down on the nearest chair, only his father slapped Jungkook's hands away when he reached out for his mother. 

"This is all your fault!" Jungkook flinched at his father's harsh words. "This would have never happened if you hadn't left with that girl!"

"Father, this is not the time to-- " Daniel tried to comfort but it was no use.

"Look at the mess you've caused; you put your own sister's life in danger! You should have learned your place you ungrateful-- "

"Honey, please," his mother stopped him, resting a shaky hand on his arm to silence the furious older man but he wouldn't listen, grabbing Jungkook by the front of his shirt, other fist raised in the air as if he would strike him at any moment. I expected Jungkook to fight back but he only hung his head in shame, fresh tears of his own dripping off his chin as he accepted his father's chastising words.

Tears streamed down his father's reddened face, spit flying on Jungkook's cheeks as he screamed with neck veins popping. "You are no son of mine, you hear me?! I never want to see you-- "

I couldn't take it any longer.

Without thinking twice I ran between the two, pushing his father's arm off with as much force as I could manage before spreading my arms out in a protective barrier in front of Jungkook. 

"If you want someone to blame, then blame me, not Jungkook! I'm the one who... " My voice deteriorated quickly as both his mother and fathers unrelenting stares undid my confidence. "I-I'm the one who... " I pressed my lips together, swallowing the new formed lump lodged in my throat.

"Y/n, don't-- "

"It's the truth, Jungkook!" I couldn't let him defend me, not when I was the one truly at fault.

"I made the decision to leave on my own free will," he tried to counter but I only shook my head, dragging my teary eyes from the ground to meet his blood-shot stare.

My voice broke as I tried to speak softly. "If we had never met, this wouldn't have happened in the first place. You would still be at the company, you would be-- "

"I would be miserable!"

"But Ji-eun would have been fine!"

"SHE'S GOING TO BE FINE!" 

There's a silence among the room, lingering guilt left to fill the void carried between the five of us. 

All eyes turned as the door opened, revealing the surgeon in Ji-eun's care.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jeon?" He said, pulling down the white face mask that covered his mouth. They both stood to their feet, rushing over to meet with the doctor.

"Please tell me she's okay!" Jungkook's father begged, his hands clasped together so tight his knuckles turned white.

The doctor sighed, eyes remorseful as he shook his head. "I'm so sorry... we couldn't save her."

There it is, the knowing truth that had been bubbling deep within my soul.

It was as if the world had been shattered along with my heart.

A/N♡:

I know this update was super short!

This was so hard to write honestly poor Ji-eun. 😭

Yet again everything is crumbling around you and Jungkook, a new amount of new and OLD problems arising to the surface once again.

I wonder what will happen next :))))))))))))

(Hint: it get worse from here)

Thank you for reading! <3

-xoxo Kay