'I wanna run away from love, this time I have had enough.
Everytime I feel your touch, I’m broken.
Shattered all the pieces of parts.
Never thought I’d fall so hard.
I’m putting back together my heart, it’s broken’
I was sitting in our garden. Thinking things through, when I saw someone standing outside our house. Like he’s waiting for someone.
"Moe…" I didn’t expect him to be here.
"Uhmm, andyan ka pala. Kala ko nasa loob ka. Hmmm, andito ka nadin naman… Can we talk?" He said, with sadness on his eyes.
"Sure. Pasok ka." We sat on the swings. Walang nagsasalita. Nagpapakiramdaman lang. I decided to break the silence.
"Why are you here?" I asked. Kahit may idea na ako kung bakit.
"Hmmm, I don’t know?" He seemed confused.
"Moe… Yung totoo? Why are you here?" I asked again.
"I’m asking myself that too. Hindi ko din alam. Parang wala ako sa sarili. Nagulat nalang ako na andito na ko."
"Nag-drive ka on your own?"
"No. My driver’s inside the car. Siguro I just absentmindedly told him to go here. And now, here I am." He said. He still looks confused.
"Did you drink? Again?" He seemed very keen on drinking now. He’s drinking almost every night.
"Yes. Konti lang, Jules. Don’t worry. Kasama ko naman driver ko."
"Kahit na. You shouldn’t drink that often. Masama yan. You know that. I’m always telling you that di ba? Oh wait, you’re not listening to me anymore na pala." I said bitterly. I can’t help it. He’s ruining himself.
"Sorry. I can’t help it. It helps me think properly."
"Alcohol makes you think? Well, that’s new. Nakakatulong na pala ang alak sa pag-iisip ng mabuti. I’d like to try that sometime. Baka makapag-isip din ako ng maayos."
"Julie." He said sternly. And I know that voice. Whenever he’s using that kind of voice it means that he doesn’t want me to do something.
"What? You can drink and I can’t? That’s unfair." Psh. Sometimes he’s really unfair.
"It’s not like that. Hays. Basta don’t drink whenever I’m not arou…" He suddenly stopped.
"What? Whenever you’re not around? So hindi talaga ako makakainom ever. Kasi you’re always not around. And whenever you’re around, you’re with her." Yes, there’s bitterness in my voice. You can’t blame me.
"Julie naman eh. Basta don’t drink."
"Well, you’re not the boss of me. You already lost that role when you took me for granted."
I saw him get tensed. Like I hit a spot. We’ll it’s true. I want him to leave already but I can’t make him leave yet. I know there’s a reason why he’s here. He’ll eventually say it. I’ll just wait. I’ll wait for him for the last time.
"Julie…" He’s opening up.
"Why are you here, Elmo?" I asked. Again.
He took a deep breath and started talking. This is it. “I don’t know? Maybe to clear things out. Nakapag-isip isip nadin ako eh. I realized that I’m being unfair to you. To everyone around us. Ang daming naaapektuhan dahil sa gulo natin…”
