His Obsession

16

You know that you have been stabbed 

                                                                                  when you feel the deep pain of betrayal.  

***********************************************************************************************

I was left staring at the door in complete utter bewilderment and hurt, hurt- I don't know why I was feeling wounded by his sudden departure. I don't know what he was thinking, because as far as I could recall I hadn't said anything that wasn't true.

Because you care, My subconscious said and I winced visibly at her words, and though I didn't want to admit she was right, she actually was. I was always told by my mom from the beginning to embrace my feelings, her exact words were;

 ''Embrace your feelings, sweetie. Denying them will never get you anywhere. With denial comes, confusion, with confusion comes wrong decisions, and with wrong decisions comes heartbreak.''

So, I'm not gonna lie about my feelings and say 'I don't but, If I'm being completely honest with myself and admit that, Yes, I do care about him. Maybe, because of his actions today and how he paid attention to the smallest things and made sure I was safe, warm, and far from harm's way. It made me realize that under his many layers, the layers of judgment that I formed is a caring, attentive human being.

It's funny how people put up a front and wear a mask to hide from people their true emotions and their personality but when the facade ends and the mask starts showing cracks you well and truly see how different that person was.

Whoever made the saying, ''Don't judge a book by its cover'' Was a wise man with years of experience.

I shake my head to snap myself out of my wandering thoughts that always lead me to the path of depressing thoughts and move my attention towards the food and dishes placed on the counter, starting with the trash I pick all the empty boxes of food and wrapping and throw them in the nearest trash can. I pick up the leftovers and wrap them in foil paper to avoid the food from getting wasted. Even though, It's gonna be placed in the fridge my mom still instilled this habit in me to foil up leftovers so you can eat them later and also for it to stay fresh. I gather all the dirty dishes and clean them, thinking I'm done, I start to go towards my bedroom to sleep the weirdness, that is Evan, off when my eyes fall upon the untouched whipped cream and strawberries.

The same feeling of hurt washes over me- again- I shake the feeling off because dwelling on it will only make me have a headache and with headaches I get nauseous and that's the last thing I want to be right now. I retreat my steps, pick up the whipped cream and strawberries, take them over to the refrigerator and place them inside before making my way towards my bedroom again. 

I release a huge sigh of exhaustion as I flop face down on my comfy mattress and before I know it my mind starts to rehash all the events of the day. I think back to Evan's departing words and his determined expression, What did he mean when he said those words? I hope he wasn't planning on meddling in my job. Before I know it, I'm drifting off to the slam of the door in my mind and the same feeling of confusion.

                                                                                   ❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

I'm awoken by the shrill sound of my alarm going off, I groan in annoyance and slap my hand around in search of and when I finally do I pick it up from where it was lying right beside my pillow and squint through the harsh light of my phone and tap against the stop button, I smile sleepily knowing the sound- or any sound- will disturb me and start to fall back asleep. In my sleepy state, I realize that I always set my alarm half an hour before I go to work so I can get ready but, before I can act on it my eyes shut on their own and I fall back asleep almost immediately.